I Believe In Love

Yes, I believe in it... Just wondering why, as I age, it seems more and more elusive? She lay beside me each night, we touch, make love, smile, say the words - but still I struggle with an empty feeling inside. It is not all encompassing, the empty feeling. Just a dark blip on the radar; a pinhole. But it is enough to make me reflect on every aspect of our relationship... from the simple questions like "Am I happy?" To the more complex, "Am I HAPPY?". From there my brains spirals and hurdles toward thinking maybe she is with a sociopath. Then I begin to think I am simply overthinking everything.

Perhaps it is time to meditate. Quiet my monkey mind and trust the larger world.

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InShadows · F

Are you sure it's your relationship at the heart of this? Sometimes that kind of loneliness has a different, deeper source- and we only translate in questioning our relationships because that's where we expect to get our wholeness, or comfort from...

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InShadows · F

Since this is an old issue for you, perhaps a new approach is what you need. Remember to be patient with yourself while you consider this. It is a very big question. And you will reach a conclusion that makes sense when it's the right time for you. I think we forget that WE CHANGE! We go through things as life moves, or layers of things appear or are uncovered. I think half the trouble is we forget to move with it- we fight it. Or, we think that if we question something we haven't before about our lives- that means it must be bad, or not right for us anymore- when in reality, we may need to adjust our expectations to what is NOW reasonable to expect, or simply take stock of things and say "hmmm- yes, I still want that"...

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@InShadows I think, if anything, I am very aware of change - especially within myself. I think that leads to fear... fear what's right today won't be tomorrow (why, perhaps, I cringe at commitment).

InShadows · F

@DeadNGone I guess that's why we have to be flexible when we finally get the answer that resonates as truth for us...

PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F

As we age we start to realize just what we want and crave in another. We seem harder to please because we've been thru so many tests, so many heartaches that we know that we deserve better than childish games...we deserve someone pretty damn close to our idea of perfection. A kind heart can be one's idea of perfection. A tender touch as well. Something so simple can become so hard to come by, when it really shouldn't be.

If I may, you need to focus your question more, from "Am I happy?" to "Am I happy with her?" Your answer to that revised question will tell you a lot I think.

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@PerfectionOfTheHeart Thank you. I will ponder that, for sure.

Vivaci

2 words - Mid-Life Crisis.

Ask me!

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Vivaci

@DeanNGone I think that is what it is.... Coz most of us couples think the same. Some are worse some are better, but that question that keeps popping up in the middle of the night is usually MLC!

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@Vivaci That is why I love this site... always feel less alone. Thank you!

Vivaci

@DeadNGone You're welcome, dear. I quite agree with you. 👍 SW rocks...

JerseyGal · 51-55, F

Meditation, going for a walk, being somewhere that is peaceful...always helps. Hope you were able to quiet your mind some. Never easy to do.

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@JerseyGal I was able to! Thank you. It came from inside though... a weird and unfamiliar - though very welcomed - sense of self acceptance. Of being ok with who I am, what I have to offer, and letting it be enough. It brought me much peace.

Jeephikelove · 46-50, F

@DeadNGone 😊

Jeephikelove · 46-50, F

I hear ya! ((HUGS)) that inside termoil is enough to drive you nuts.

DeadNGone · 51-55, M

@Jeephikelove Thanks for the hugs and yes, it makes for a busy head and upset stomach.

Jeephikelove · 46-50, F

@DeadNGone OMG YES!!! Fuck!

HotMessExpress102 · 41-45, F

Trust your intuition... that still small voice is there for a reason.

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