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I Feel Stuck

We might be moving to a new city due to my partner's recent job offer. I'm really bummed by this. I've got all of my friends here, my community, everything I've grown familiar with. There's enough chaos in this world, and I was hoping for a little calmness before completely upending my life. Maybe I'll end up staying here while he goes. I'm a bit dependent on him for income at the moment, though. I was hoping to pursue a new degree for a few years at the local university, but everything has changed. In fact, his only job offer is likely due to the virus causing someone at the other place nearby to decide not to move. He was going to be offered a position at a place very close to our home, and we wouldn't have needed to move.

I know sometimes it only feels like things are falling apart because change is so difficult. I know in my gut, however, that moving to this other city is not what I want. I love my city. It's infused with a lovely mixture of nature and urbanisation. You can't find that anywhere, and you certainly can't find it where his new job is located. I'm thinking I'll apply to many remote jobs in the next few weeks to see if I can get a job and end up staying at this house, but it is expensive to live here on a single income. We both were earning for a while, but I've lost my income. This virus is such a pain. Feeling a bit doomed, tbh.

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Fernie · F

Please don't move if you have to give up your established life. Resentment will rear it's ugly head. If you go because you depend on HIS money...YOU need to makes some changes in your life

Streamofconsciousness · 31-35, T

@Fernie Yes, you're absolutely right. I've had a hard time getting a job for some reason, although I've certainly applied to many jobs over the years. I think I get very anxious during the interview process because it's so hard to come across work these days, so I do an awful job being interviewed. I'm looking into certifications to see if maybe getting a certification will help me get a remote job for the time being so that I don't have to move. Thank you for the advice!

Fernie · F

@Streamofconsciousness Thank YOU for not being defensive and for taking responsibility for your situation. That kind of honesty will help you get out of the trap you're in.

Streamofconsciousness · 31-35, T

@Fernie It’s so off putting when people don’t take responsibility for their actions (or inactions), so I always try :)

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Streamofconsciousness · 31-35, T

@joeblow It's 3 hours away. I've been to this city multiple times. It's not the place for me, I can already tell. This job is a good opportunity for him, so it wouldn't be in his best interests to move back. It's basically a blank canvas for his career to take off. There don't appear to be any universities close by, and the university near to where I currently reside is good. Their biochemistry master's degree is supposedly very excellent, so I'd rather attend here. Moving is really difficult. We have moved twice already in the past two years, and it's something I'm certain I do not want to do again. Thanks for the help, though!

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SW-User

I just read where he'll be 3 hours away. How would he feel about renting a room from someone during the week in the other city and coming home to you on weekends? It'll give you both some time to figure out how you want to proceed.

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