I Struggle With Monogamy
There are situational realities that people will not say to avoid messing with the bubble they want everyone to be immersed in.
When I look at our human nature I notice that monogamy is taught, and some prefer this option depending on how well their partner merges with them. I personally believe that in a world of 80% that compares to the 20%, 80% acknowledge non-monogamous instincts where 20% say that they are monogamous and would like no other way.
Then you have religion or as some call the relationship with a higher power where holy books state that having more than one partner is going against the desire that this higher power has for his/its creatures.
I will make a case for the situation humans find ourselves in without the use of religion to try to bridge a gap of understanding between individuals.
First of all, people are or can be attracted to more than one person at the same time. The question is whether you take action on that attraction or not. We live in a world where actions do have consequences, so you have to consider how to avoid the consequences you don’t want if you still want to take action on your impulses. Now here is the greatest catch of all, if you do cross the border with others into intimacy possession, jealousy, and insecurity WILL come in. I repeat, IF you take action on your attraction and become intimate whether you like it or not possession, jealousy, and insecurity WILL come in. Why? When you give of yourself and you don’t get the desired affection, attention, or response from the other person then anger, hurt, etc just builds up and builds up. This is what in a sense those that are monogamous protect. Crossing the border makes people feel used when you don’t want them to stay, so it is wise to have your own boundaries to not give people false expectations that will leave them feeling insecure when you don’t meet them.
I want to be the person that does away with the negative and derogatory labels placed on women (people in general) for not meeting the traditional standard of what is accepted. Why? Because every single one of us are just people. Humans looking to belong, to survive, to keep going, to distract ourselves from fearful thoughts of all we can’t understand and question. We just managed to adapt the way we were taught without asking too many questions, and then reality hits us hard through experience at times.
So if you ask for my honest opinion on the issue:
Are humans instinctively monogamous?
No we aren’t, I think it is situational and taught. I can understand when people are not monogamous.
Do you recommend people to not be monogamous?
The problem is that when we take action on our instincts jealousy, possession, and insecurity come in leaving people feeling used and unwanted when they have given the most intimate parts of themselves. Monogamy does not make sense to me but also random paring up with many at the same time doesn’t either because of the unavoidable side effects that go along with it. I suppose being monogamous with one person at a time or having an honest and coherent conversation with whoever you are with helps. But as anything there are pros and cons to everything. I honestly have no recommendation other than writing about what I do notice in our nature.
People feel used and conditionally wanted from the get-go in life so we do have to be aware and watch out for the sentiments of others. Just like instincts have their own way with us, so do certain feelings as well. I feel that this is good information to have, to mutually discuss and enhance our communication while decreasing the negative and derogatory labels placed on people. My goal in life is to decrease my use of negative words to describe individuals and to inspire that in others as well.
When I look at our human nature I notice that monogamy is taught, and some prefer this option depending on how well their partner merges with them. I personally believe that in a world of 80% that compares to the 20%, 80% acknowledge non-monogamous instincts where 20% say that they are monogamous and would like no other way.
Then you have religion or as some call the relationship with a higher power where holy books state that having more than one partner is going against the desire that this higher power has for his/its creatures.
I will make a case for the situation humans find ourselves in without the use of religion to try to bridge a gap of understanding between individuals.
First of all, people are or can be attracted to more than one person at the same time. The question is whether you take action on that attraction or not. We live in a world where actions do have consequences, so you have to consider how to avoid the consequences you don’t want if you still want to take action on your impulses. Now here is the greatest catch of all, if you do cross the border with others into intimacy possession, jealousy, and insecurity WILL come in. I repeat, IF you take action on your attraction and become intimate whether you like it or not possession, jealousy, and insecurity WILL come in. Why? When you give of yourself and you don’t get the desired affection, attention, or response from the other person then anger, hurt, etc just builds up and builds up. This is what in a sense those that are monogamous protect. Crossing the border makes people feel used when you don’t want them to stay, so it is wise to have your own boundaries to not give people false expectations that will leave them feeling insecure when you don’t meet them.
I want to be the person that does away with the negative and derogatory labels placed on women (people in general) for not meeting the traditional standard of what is accepted. Why? Because every single one of us are just people. Humans looking to belong, to survive, to keep going, to distract ourselves from fearful thoughts of all we can’t understand and question. We just managed to adapt the way we were taught without asking too many questions, and then reality hits us hard through experience at times.
So if you ask for my honest opinion on the issue:
Are humans instinctively monogamous?
No we aren’t, I think it is situational and taught. I can understand when people are not monogamous.
Do you recommend people to not be monogamous?
The problem is that when we take action on our instincts jealousy, possession, and insecurity come in leaving people feeling used and unwanted when they have given the most intimate parts of themselves. Monogamy does not make sense to me but also random paring up with many at the same time doesn’t either because of the unavoidable side effects that go along with it. I suppose being monogamous with one person at a time or having an honest and coherent conversation with whoever you are with helps. But as anything there are pros and cons to everything. I honestly have no recommendation other than writing about what I do notice in our nature.
People feel used and conditionally wanted from the get-go in life so we do have to be aware and watch out for the sentiments of others. Just like instincts have their own way with us, so do certain feelings as well. I feel that this is good information to have, to mutually discuss and enhance our communication while decreasing the negative and derogatory labels placed on people. My goal in life is to decrease my use of negative words to describe individuals and to inspire that in others as well.
31-35, F
