@Iamnolongerhere: thank you for your comments and interest .. you have alot to say about this and I will try to reply on most .. .. My children were taught to investigate and learn about things before making a choice or decision .. I assure you they understood many of the requirements, benefits, struggles, and consequences of moving out on their own before they ever faced the choice .. .. ..
We not only allowed but encouraged our chikdren to make decisions on their own .. .. They also understiod that with any decision their are consequences, often they are very good but sometimes they are not .. .. we resoected them and they respected us .. for the most part life was smooth and without issues .. well with teenagers their were always issues just not behavioural issues .. ..
It was never follow the rules or get out .. .. it was if you don't follow the rules .. well really when you don't follow the rules there will be consequences .. .. they knew that if they did not agree with that they could move out, support themselves, and follow the rules of others like an apartment complex or employer .. ..
The rules they had issues with were normal things like lying, breaking kerfew, being rude and disrespectful, not doing chores, my youngest was big on not cleaning her room .. ..
"Free Rent" First nothing is free and my chikdren did chores and helped out around the house, they earned money for a pager or cell phone and their first car .. .. Living at home was more then just a roof over their heads, it was clothing, food, money, tuition, mental support and so on .. ..
I worked full time my seniour year of high school .. .. My son had a friend who moved out at 16 because of things at home .. .. he had some help but for the most part took care of himself .. .. ..
I see the origional post more as a parent who embraces this logic looking for views from others (yours included) more then trying to justify her own situtation or actions .. .. ..
I hope this covered all of your points and questions .. .. ..