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I Want to Be a Dad

For the past years, I been wanting to become a father. Right now, I know I'm not ready to take that step into parenthood yet, as I've been trying to sort out my life, and get my finances built up. Personally, I don't see myself being a husband, only as a father. I don't really think I'll ever get married due to my lack of interest to do so. When I'm finally ready to become a father, I will more than likely adopt or go through surrogacy. Both of which, I know, are expensive, but seeing either path, I will have to be emotionally, physically, and financially ready to start that chapter in my life.

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Lostpoet · M

I think every kid needs support from both parents, and if you are not mature enough to have an adult relationship with someone than I don't think you are mature enough to raise a kid. Harsh opinion I know, but I honestly believe it.

SW-User

@Lostpoet Tbh, as someone that grew up with one parent, you don't need both. You just need one that will support and guide you. A lot of people are together and can't stand each other. I think he's making a mature decision. He doesn't think he could be in a relationship with another person, and frankly, not everyone can. But the love you have for a child has nothing to do with your ability to be in a relationship.

Lostpoet · M

@SW-User idk, I still disagree that it's a mature thing for him to consider. But I do agree with your point of view that a kid can be raised in a single parent home and still have everything a kid with two parents have.

MrPredicable · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet Personally, I've seen too many of my friends and family, who are single parents, who had spouses whom were either abusive or neglectful of their significant other as well as children, and some of them, the custody of the children for the divorces went to the individual who was either abusive and/or neglectful. If I was married, and I lost custody of any kids I had to a neglectful, abusive person in a divorce case, I would be both depressed for losing my children (as well as being worried of when I would be able to see them) and afraid for their safety. I never want to go through that type of situation, thus is one of the major reasons why I'm not interested in getting married.

Lostpoet · M

@MrPredicable How about finding a girl that isn't abusive? I'm not telling you what to do I'm just saying that in my point of you your reasoning doesn't sound very mature, but it's just an opinion, I'm sure you will probably be a good dad.

MrPredicable · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet Honestly, I tried several times. When I tried going out and dating with different women (even those who were really sweet), nothing clicked between us. Even after several weeks of dating the same person. Personally, this is one of the other reasons why I don't see myself being a husband. If I can't get romantically involved with a woman, even after many tries, I don't really see the point in continuing to pursue a goal that, more than likely, isn't meant to be for me. Right now, I'm more focused on my job, and trying to pay off my student loans (thus one of the previously mentioned financial reasons). From what I planned out through how I've worked out my paychecks, from the amounts I have left, I could get them paid off in a year or so. When that's done, I plan to save up as much money as I can for that day to come when I'm ready to become a father, and eventually adopt or go through a surrogate.

Lostpoet · M

@MrPredicable I hope things change and you do find that someone by the time you have to make the decision. Best of luck man.