How would you handle a coworker ( your trainer) who speaks to you in a very condescending tone?

She doesn't speak to ANYONE ELSE the way she speaks to me.

She'll route back items that I've made a mistake on ( through the computer) and wont say whats wrong with it. When I ask, i get told to figure it out. Like in a rude way. Anyone else asks " oh look right here, you forgot [blank]".

I haven't even been here for a month and I'm tired of putting up with her antics.

The manager seems rude herself. She's never asked how things/ training is going.

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TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this.

I was going to suggest talking to someone over her, until I saw the part about the manager being rude too. You could talk to the manager anyway, as it might be more productive than talking to her about it. I have a feeling, from what you've said, that talking directly with your trainer might not do much good. Maybe you're more skilled at confronting people, tactfully but firmly, than I am, but I think I would either go up the chain of command or start looking for another job.

If the manager isn't any help, maybe see if there's anyone over her?

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iamnikki · 31-35, F

@TeresaRudolph71 right. And i actually worked temporarily in HR at the same company before I transferred where i am now. It was only 1 month but maybe i can reach out to the recruiter? Im just afraid that word could get to my manager that im looking/ asking about other jobs...

TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

@iamnikki Hmm, is your recruiter discreet? What do you think they could say if you let them know that you didn't want your manager to know that you were looking for other opportunities?

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@TeresaRudolph71 I don't know him well enough to ask that of him. I really dont know who to ask, as far as who I can trust. The manager over there was very friendly. I did a good job there. She told me to keep in touch. I haven't since I don't know if managers & teachers really mean it you know.

1234567890a

It’s frustrating. Try to ride it out and do what they want. You can attempt to speak with them but that could backfire. Many times the picture changes. Either you’ll get a new boss or another target will take your place. Try to hang in there.

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1234567890a

I have worked for similar type bosses. Give it time, give them what they want and sooner or later the picture will change. That was how I got through it.@iamnikki

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@1234567890a but she isnt my boss. I think that makes it worse. she's always around. how did it work out for you?

1234567890a

I’ve had those too. I rode it out too. They eventually went to any department.It wasn’t easy and I feel for you. It’s not fun being in the crosshairs of a bully. No other way to describe a coworker like that. A boss is in a different category you’re right.@iamnikki

Sharky86 · 36-40, M

I think you should just try to talk with her explaining your position, to clarify things, you don't know what she's really thinking.

SatyrService · M

is it your boss? or a more equal person

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SatyrService · M

@iamnikki so here are some reason why, and a suggestion on what to do about it.
she may fear you are better at the job, and trying to harsh your confidence
she may have some prejudgement, ethnicity, nationality etc. ( are the others she is NICE to. of the same group?)
she may have a crush on you,, and is trying to skip that feeling

what to do?

1 politely confront Why do you talk to me that way? why ONLY me?

2 maybe tell someone upline from you?

3 let is slide off your back like water from a duck.

any of this make sense?

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@SatyrService may i inbox u?

SatyrService · M

@iamnikki yes. your dilemma is interesting, i may be able to help! 😁

InOtterWords · F

I had a similar situation. She always seemed to shoot me down in meetings and was always dismissive of me. Then at a works do, after a couple of glasses of wine I spoke to her about it. I told her I respected her and her ideas....she was brilliant.....and after that she was better. We were never best friends but a few years later she asked me to work with her on a project, and I learnt a lot about pushing back on demands and saying no from her.

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