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I Am Sick of Life

I put my faith that social sites would help me feel less lonely but no more. Before I had great chats with nice people all the time , now I cannot find a single person to enjoy talking to once and a while. I was on ep and I really think it saved me from stress and depression. I can't find another site like it. Even when it sucked it was better than all other sites. I am ignored everywhere I go. I'm sorry I don't have friends in real life but it's not my fault. I just have not found any.
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MarkPaul · 26-30, M
I'm in a similar way... I can't figure out (exactly) what I am doing wrong... I seem unlikeable... and I don't want to be.
SW-User
I think people are changing and no one wants to have a friend anymore. This is an unfriendly world.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@VioletBreeze: Yeah, maybe. The gut-wrenching thing for me is... I see people engaged with each other... but I'm always an outsider.
SW-User
@MarkPaul: You spoke my mind, the same happens to me. Everyone enjpys talking to everybody besides me.😞
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@VioletBreeze: So, what are we doing wrong?
SW-User
@MarkPaul: Well I have a lot of insecurities and I guess it shows. I lack confidence and I'm shy but I try. I really do not know why we are unlucky. I see people make friends with anybody, why is it hard for me, I don't know.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@VioletBreeze: Yeah, that's me too. :-( I mean, I am out and about in society, but I am super-shy... I hold on to my rejections as though they are prized possessions even though I hate them, and I try with all my social anxiety might to meet, greet, and interact with people. No matter what though, it's never enough to stop repulsing them...
SW-User
@MarkPaul: even when I talk to others it seems like anything I say offends them that is why I don't talk . I'm afraid people will get mad at me although I don't say anything mean . It's like a curse . Like this woman sees me once a year and runs although I hardly talk to her and never upset her . We actually used to be friends when we were young . I just need a friend to cheer me up but that never happens
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@VioletBreeze: Wow... we seem to be in the same (lonely) boat...
SW-User
@MarkPaul: my mother even said I'm not lucky with anyone . I guess I'm like a black cloud because of my depressing problems . People can sense your pain so they stay away I guess
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@VioletBreeze: Sometimes I wonder if that's it. Like dogs can sense fear, do "normal" interactive people sense insecurity bordering on self-hatred... I want a taste of a "normal" relationship...
SW-User
@MarkPaul: YES, people sense we are different so they stay away . I'm different than most women so they act like I'm an alien . I guess people will never accept you if you're not " normal" it's really sad , it's like they see me as inferior to them
. I wish I could just meet one woman that cared enough to be my friend .
SW-User
And yes I have self hatred because I'm not normal . My life was never normal .
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@VioletBreeze: And, all this time, I thought I was the only one... I don't know whether to be happy (misery lives company) or sad (I don't wish this feeling on anyone).
SW-User
@MarkPaul: I would be very happy if it wasn't for my lingering problems . I just am not lucky and that's what makes me unhappy . Weird problems always pop up for me . I know there's people with horrible problems but still since I was a child I felt like an outcast . When people ignore me it makes me feel even worse . I feel like I have to pretend in front of others and I can't keep up . I can't get close to a stuck up person . Good people are hard to find .
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@VioletBreeze: Amen. I guess all we (you and me) can do is not give up. Even if we never catch our dream...