I Have Experienced Loss

I lost my fiancé about a year ago. It’ll be a full year in a few weeks and I feel so sad. I go out and drink and party and do stuff with people and it’s all fun. But I just can’t seem to feel the same kind of happy that I felt when I was with him. He was my everything and instead of it getting easier everyday, I feel like it’s getting harder being without him. Whenever anyone asks how I’m doing or coping I say I’m doing well or I’m fine, in hopes that maybe if I say it enough times I will be.