I Have Experienced Loss

Grief isn’t a single moment in time. It’s the absence of every promise your heart held for a tomorrow that wouldn’t come.
Grief is that love you reserved for someone that you can no longer release because they aren’t here- it’s all that love you meant to give them over a lifetime but it’s bottled up - with no escape - the pressure building and no where to go.
Grief isn’t a straight forward line you can walk, it’s a wavering path, climbing up and down hills, jumping over rocks, swimming in vast oceans. Sometimes the oceans are calm and others it’s a raging sea.

Sometimes I honestly don’t know how I’m still breathing. I try not to focus on the loss I’ve experienced over my life, each loss preparing me to accept and maneuver a greater loss to come.
Am I lucky for what I have or unfortunate for what I’ve lost.
The answer is - I’m both.


And grief is like that, it can turn one perfect beautiful seemingly uncomplicated day into a night of lonely tears.