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I Am Actively Trying to Heal

I have been on a journey to heal my life. I just turned 40 not too long ago and I am actually excited about it. Lots of changes have happened in my life recently and I was not scared but I seem to be stalled and questioning "whats next" for me in my life.

I know I want more and I acknowledge that I have been blessed in my life so I find myself at a crossroads. I want more fulfillment because my career, my family life, my love life, my health, etc... has all been so dissatisfying. I worry that I don't have the resources to go after my dream and I fear that if the longer I stay stuck in my current situation, I will never get out.

I have been reading a ton of books and documentaries about healing my life, spirituality and as a novice practicing Buddhist.... I kinda know what needs to be done but I refuse to do it. I refuse to do the work. Maybe cause I'm lazy (I've always been accused of that) or maybe its because I fear if I do the work and it doesn't work something then has to be wrong with me. I don't know.... so this is my first step to doing the work.

I've read Psycho-Cybernetics, The Silva Method and the Sedona Method along with EFT and many others.... I actually have the video/audio programs for many of the programs and I've listened, read and practiced lightly but never gave it 100% of my attention. I even have several of Louise Hay's books and so I feel I will start with her "You Can Heal Your Life" book and do the exercises this time and work my way thru the rest of the course I have, actually doing the exercises and meditating and seeing if that works.

I know from everything I've read and heard, seen and experienced- change must come from inside. I have been hoping for a light bulb aha moment from a book or movie that inspires me to change, transform overnight, no work required. Inwards manifests itself outward and so here I go... inward on my journey to self-discovery, peace, love, joy, compassion and abundance.

Today, I start :)
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lasergraph · 70-79, M
With the exception of Bill Gates or Oprah most people fail to achieve what the had envisioned for themselves. Even Oprah who one thinks has everything has struggled with her weight and in her personal life. You will have those, "What's next?" moments for the rest of your life. Sometimes you just have to look around and see the positive things in your life, they are there even though they may seem insignificant. You are reaching a corner in your life and you can't see what is on the other side. Take that as a challenge and embrace whatever you find there. I think you will find something special there. Good luck and I hope to see you post soon about something grand that has happened.
aniave · 46-50, F
Wow! What kind and wise words. Thank you.