I Am Emotionally Needy

Starved.


This is a word I tend to want to use a lot in describing how I feel. Being the writer I am, I try to steer away from being repetitive. Except, it fucking works...so, to hell with the rules!


I am starved, starving, malnourished, dehydrated.


I have depleted my self supply of love, affection, attention, care.

I have been sucked dry. All of my love taken and thrown away. I have protected everyone but myself. I am convicted, quilted.

Every ounce of energy and time and emotion and care and love siphoned from my well and never replenished.

Neglected, taken for granted, underappreciated. Insignificant.


And so...for this I am needy. Fucking desperately needy.

I have never been provided these things. I have given them all away and I have left nothing for myself.

I used to have more self respect. I used to love myself more, care for myself more. I used to take advantage of the time I was given.



Eventually the well runs dry.

Sooner or later the garden needs tending.