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I Am Emotionally Needy

Starved.


This is a word I tend to want to use a lot in describing how I feel. Being the writer I am, I try to steer away from being repetitive. Except, it fucking works...so, to hell with the rules!


I am starved, starving, malnourished, dehydrated.


I have depleted my self supply of love, affection, attention, care.

I have been sucked dry. All of my love taken and thrown away. I have protected everyone but myself. I am convicted, quilted.

Every ounce of energy and time and emotion and care and love siphoned from my well and never replenished.

Neglected, taken for granted, underappreciated. Insignificant.


And so...for this I am needy. Fucking desperately needy.

I have never been provided these things. I have given them all away and I have left nothing for myself.

I used to have more self respect. I used to love myself more, care for myself more. I used to take advantage of the time I was given.



Eventually the well runs dry.

Sooner or later the garden needs tending.
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It makes sense, JLP. Do you think your garden will ever be lush and green? Do you think you will be okay?
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
@PoetryNEmotion I do not know...I am ready to give up
DragonFruit · 70-79, M
@JaggedLittlePill Never give up....you are depleted, but you can replenish yourself. Don’t try to do it all at once/ 🤗 🤗
@JaggedLittlePill Well, you can't. You are young and have a purpose on this earth. You have a long life ahead of you. And people who love you and who care for you. Keep your therapist. Lean on your family and your friends. Hang in there, JLP. I know you can do this. I knew this from the first time I read one of your postings. And that is why I continue to answer yours.
KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F
I have no words. But I can empathize with you and know that managing these feelings are not in any way easy.
Sending you warm thoughts and vibes 🤗
DragonFruit · 70-79, M
Sometimes you need to spend more time taking care of yourself (even if it means spending less time taking care of others for a little while). You are NOT insignificant, even if some people treat you as though you are. If nobody will help you tend your garden, you’ll need to do it on your own for a while. You are capable of doing this, and you are worthy of the attention....even if you sometimes don’t feel that way. ❤ 🤗 🤗
Subsumedpat · 36-40, M
a lot of us are needy
UserNameSW · 46-50, M
🚿have a drink🤗
If I was there I would hug you and hold you close through the night!
Everything you are needy of, you are equally worthy of.

May blessed rain fall, the gardener see, then answer your call, and toil endlessly.

 
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