Upset
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My dad is a racist. [I Need Advice]

So, we just watched the verdict of the Derek Chauvin trial, and I was almost in tears, happy that he was convicted. My dad starts talking about how there’s another camera angle of the video of him kneeing on Floyd and that he wasn’t on his neck. My dad is acting like he wants to prove that a white cop wouldn’t murder a black man. My dad also is racist towards Arabs, thinking that they’ll be dangerous which is so wrong. It pisses me off, and I almost don’t want to have a relationship with him anymore. Any advice?
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GirlPulse · 26-30, F
Ugh it's hard. Even reading some of the comments in response to you is hard. He's being a jerk about it, and that makes it hard for you. But at the same time, he's the only dad you've got. You want to try to keep your relationship with him if you can.

I don't know if I could do it. I might end up storming off several times. But if you can, here's what I recommend. Instead of getting angry, try to get at what's behind his comments, and then what's behind that. Behind everyone's racism is fear, and fear is a common human emotion. Try to get at what the real concern is, like he's worried that the riots are tearing down our nation or something. And then find the parts of those deeper feelings that you can agree with.

"You know what dad, I'm really worried about the riots too. I think a lot of the rioters and especially looters are not people who are concerned about racial justice at all. But why do you think those riots are happening? Do you think there is anything that could happen to you where you would ever think things are so bad that you would have to riot?"

I don't know. Maybe something like that can work. If not, just try to keep your patience and walk away when you have to. I'm sorry you have to put up with that crap. Good luck!