I Miss My Grandma

I've been dealing with the loss of the greatest woman I have ever known, my amazing Grandmother Grace. The first week of October turned my life up side down as the matriarch of our family suddenly passed away. She went peacefully in her sleep, at home the way she always wanted to. However, the whole in our hearts, especially my wonderful mother's heart, seems to be getting bigger by the day. They say time will heal, but it seems to be getting more and more painful. I have so many regrets.. Not being married, not giving her a great grand baby to hold and kiss, not being there when she passed and the feeling of letting her down eats away at me every single night.

I know it's a part of life and she was 91 years old but there really was no sign.. She wasn't hospitalized or anything.. Just "tired" and as a medical professional I feel like I let her down. As her grandbaby I feel I should of been there,but I was over 400 miles away. I smile and say I'm "okay", and When I do laugh or feel happy I feel guilty. I feel so many things all at once.

Grama/Gammy, you weren't just my grandma! You were and will always be my heart and soul!!! I miss you so very much and I love you and hope you know you were the best gammy ever!! Thank you for everything. Thank you with all of my heart!! Not a day goes by where my heart isn't crying out for you, not a day goes by that I don't miss you!! One day we'll see each other again. Rest in peace my amazing Grace!! 😞