I felt the same way at your age. As awful as it sounds, it's completely normal. You're at a stage in your life where you coming to terms with where you fit in and how. It's a hard place to exist. And there's a lot of pressure on looks and everything. But here's a little secret, all of the girls around you are just as confused as you! Some just hide it better. Even if you still feeling awkward by the time you're 16/17, don't worry. Some people figure it all out before they graduate, others a little later on. Most people don't really understand who they are until they're 25 or so. And a lot of people are still figuring it out after that! Just don't be too hard on yourself. Try to focus on the things in your life that make you happy and you feel grateful for. And don't feel pressured to figure out who you are/where you belong. Just be you. Do what you enjoy. Laugh with your friends. Research things that interest you. Get involved with the life around you. It all has a way of working itself out until one day you realize you're really passionate about one thing or another. And hey, you can always ask your friends about stuff. Mutual weirdness brings the best people together, don't you know!