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I Hate Being Gaslighted

My mom everyday.

"Everyone is so mean to me nobody helps me. I'm so stressed out. Everyone in this house is so rude to me. Nobody cares about me. I wish I could just disappear. I think your sister is your dads favorite."

Me: how about I just disappear if I make your life so bad then.

Mom: "why do you say stupid things like that you sound stupid."

Mom again: everyone is so mean to me and treats me terrible. Everyone is so disrespectful...."... Did you wash your hands?"

Me "YEAH!"

Mom: "why are you talking like that?"

Me: maybe because I'm tired of you saying I'm such a bad person all the time and I'm such a mean person. I'm not a bad person and I'm not a mean person."

Mom: I never say that. I just told you to wash your hands because I don't like dirty hands touching lunch meat."

Me: "no you say that every day I'm not a bad person."

Mom: "I never say that. Everyday. Maybe I'll just disappear."

Me: "I'm glad I make you want to disappear."

Mom: you just don't like hearing the truth. It hurts dosent it?"

Me: I'm not a bad person or a mean person. Stop saying that to me everyday. But I guess I'm a liar now too. Don't pretend you didn't say that"

Mom: "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all"

Me: "you should probably tell that to yourself."

Mom: "everyone treats me horrible. Everyone is disrespectful."

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Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

yeah she sounds like a narcissist, or maybe just terrible at communicating with no self awareness what so ever.

JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F

@Ryannnnnn she never actually called anyone a horrible person. She said people were rude and disrespectful and mean. All very normal things to say when irritated.

He twisted what she said into his own version.

He never addressed exactly what she said he only did the same thing back to her that she was doing to him.

They both sound like people who can't communicate properly. Nothing here sounds narcissistic. Nothing here indicated being gaslighted.

Iamnotacat · 26-30, F

@JaggedLittlePill I didn't say anything at all rude to her. This time I was talking about my vitamin D deficiency. And she said she had one too. But she forgets to take her pill.

So I said why?

And she said because everyone is so mean to me. Blahh.

And no she didn't say I was horrible. But telling someone that they are so mean and disrespectful. To them. And that they make them want
To disappear. Is basically they same thing. Just more words.

Iamnotacat · 26-30, F

@JaggedLittlePill she then wanted to pretend she never said it. So yes gaslighting.

Telling someone that they want disappear because of them. Is horrible to say. Telling someone they are a burden without saying it.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@JaggedLittlePill There is. She could also be manipulating her emotionally if its every day and perhaps if its to this level of frustration then theres a reason for being so short and tired with this person.
Also ignoring the implication of what she said and changing the subject to make the person feel bad and take the attention off them can be considered a subtle form of it if its a repeated behaviour outside of this.

I think its more likely just bad communication and self pity though.

Iamnotacat · 26-30, F

@JaggedLittlePill she's also threatened to crash the car into a stop sign because I was crying because she was comparing me to my sister. She's constantly telling me how it's my fault she's stressed.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@Iamnotacat I think she might just be highly neurotic and maybe she does have a lot of things she's genuinely unhappy about. You can be attention seeking and manipulative without being an actual narcissist, but she seem to not think highly of herself so It doesn't really add up.

i am just some guy on the internet though so..take it for what it is.