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I Think Suppressing Or Ignoring Emotion Is Very Unhealthy

There has to be a point where I draw the line when it comes to how long I can handle suppressing certain emotions. I am not allowed to be upset about anything, or be able to vent when the only person I am able to talk to about anything regarding my life/situation is my boyfriend. Barely anyone ever visits me, and I feel forgotten. And when I talk to my mother my boyfriend gets upset that I've vented about my life. It's not about my boyfriend. It's about my life in general. Like, how everything is going. I have a crappy fast food job on the weekends and an independent contractor job that has random bursts of failing applications which leaves me without work for god knows how long, sometimes over a week with nothing. But I can't vent more about it because it deals with my living situation. Half of me wants to stay, and half of me wants to move out. But I need a better job to do that. And my boyfriend doesn't want me to move out because he would think we're over if I do. I just can't handle living with anyone anymore, and I am trying to prove to myself that I can be stronger; that I can live without any help in case I have to in the future. I've never lived by myself ever in my life, and I've always wanted to experience what it's like...and I want to become a strong independent woman. But I keep getting crippled by finances. And when I talk about it, it turns into a big emotional argument between me and my significant other, who threatens to leave me if I move out because he thinks we won't last if I live separate from him. But if you love someone that shouldn't matter, right? This is the place I can vent because I don't know anyone here, I'm completely anonymous, and none of you are my parents or friends who might judge me. It is a place I can get opinions...and that is why I am here.
yeronlyman · 51-55, M
You need to get feelings out somehow

Time and exercise for me
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@yeronlyman I've been suppressing most of it for a long time now, a few years. And it's really starting to hurt. It feels like what I want will never happen and that it doesn't matter as much. All I know is I'm not happy and it shows but I'm scared that if I ever make it happen that it will all blow up in my face and I will fail because no one else wants to support what I want to do...and I'm also scared because I've never done it before, and if I leave my boyfriend will leave me. It just sucks all around, and it's not fair that he gave me that ultimatum.
Fernie · F
It seems that your choices are few. Always be looking for better paying jobs or win the lottery or accept your situation for now while you try to find better paying jobs because you can't change your situation right now...it will take a little time
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@Fernie Yeah. That's the only thing in this rat race I can do. Trying to find the right job is one of the toughest challenges I've had to deal with, especially after college. College doesn't prepare you with your career unfortunately, and I believe there should be a class for that. It's just terrible living in a household where barely anyone else helps clean up after themselves and you never know when there's going to be a confrontation. I'm just sick of it all, and wish I could just run away. lol
acpguy · C
Telling the hard honest truth is best......and when it is good it is really good.
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@acpguy I tell the truth and it turns into an argument.
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@acpguy But I always tell the truth.
acpguy · C
@PoisonLace Good for you. If it turns into an argument just tell them to shut the hell up and ignore them.
canadarm · M
Whenever a person in a relationship uses the phrase " I'm not allowed" that's a red flag, and a familiar one.
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@canadarm I don't allow myself. It gets him upset, and he doesn't like when I talk to anyone else about my situation because I am talking about living by myself. I understand why, but suppressing everything really doesn't help and I'd rather not always vent to him. He gets defensive.
canadarm · M
@PoisonLace exactly.

 
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