I Think Suppressing Or Ignoring Emotion Is Very Unhealthy
There has to be a point where I draw the line when it comes to how long I can handle suppressing certain emotions. I am not allowed to be upset about anything, or be able to vent when the only person I am able to talk to about anything regarding my life/situation is my boyfriend. Barely anyone ever visits me, and I feel forgotten. And when I talk to my mother my boyfriend gets upset that I've vented about my life. It's not about my boyfriend. It's about my life in general. Like, how everything is going. I have a crappy fast food job on the weekends and an independent contractor job that has random bursts of failing applications which leaves me without work for god knows how long, sometimes over a week with nothing. But I can't vent more about it because it deals with my living situation. Half of me wants to stay, and half of me wants to move out. But I need a better job to do that. And my boyfriend doesn't want me to move out because he would think we're over if I do. I just can't handle living with anyone anymore, and I am trying to prove to myself that I can be stronger; that I can live without any help in case I have to in the future. I've never lived by myself ever in my life, and I've always wanted to experience what it's like...and I want to become a strong independent woman. But I keep getting crippled by finances. And when I talk about it, it turns into a big emotional argument between me and my significant other, who threatens to leave me if I move out because he thinks we won't last if I live separate from him. But if you love someone that shouldn't matter, right? This is the place I can vent because I don't know anyone here, I'm completely anonymous, and none of you are my parents or friends who might judge me. It is a place I can get opinions...and that is why I am here.