I Am So Lost In Thought
[big]Part II[/big]
Especially when I am walking, my mind wanders-on-automatic and I become "lost in thought." On the way home, I thought about cryptocurrencies and imagined how rich I could be if I took the advice of someone at the gym who recommended I invest. I was then confronted with the lie I had told someone at work today about my plans for New Year's Eve... "my neighbor is having a house party, so I'm keeping it low key this year." It probably sounded like I was bragging. He said, "sounds good." In reality, there is no house party... at least none that I have been invited to. It's just that... it seemed easier to say that then explain I was going to be all alone...
"Hey you... I remember you... how are you?"
"Um... I... I um..."
"Remember... we talked the other day. You seemed lost."
"Oh... right... yeah... the hot chocolate..."
She laughed... "That's right. This has to be a sign... that we run into each other again. A good sign, I should add. It's a bonus."
"Well, this is the same route I walk home to work, so..."
"Well, I'm glad we can catch up. So, how have you been?"
"Um... okay... I guess..."
"Oh, you don't have to be shy with me. We're friends, remember, sunshine?"
"Um..."
She laughed (but not with her eyes). "So, have you thought about what we talked about the last time?" At this point we were both walking in my direction home.
"Well, a little, I guess. But, honestly... it's not for me..."
"Oh... I think you will find that we're all very friendly and caring and you will feel like you instantly belong. I still remember the first time I went..."
"No... I don't think so... it's just that..."
"Don't you want to know truth, beauty, and goodness? That's what this is really all about. It's really a movement, you know."
"Yeah, but... I mean... it's not something I am ready to do, or anything..."
"Silly... it's not about being ready, it's about taking the time to learn how to bring joy into your life so you can return that joy to God. That sounds like something you want to do, right?"
"Well, yeah I guess... I mean, no..."
"No...?"
"Well, it's just... the thing is... I'm not really into cults."
"Oh...?"
"Come on.. let's be serious. I know what the Unification Church really is. And, it's not what I am looking for."
"We're not a cult..."
She talked and talked as we continued walking. I thought about making a turn down the wrong block because I didn't want her to know where I lived. I suddenly felt like a little kid who needed protection and I hated myself for that feeling. She eventually stopped trying to keep up with my pace. She waved to me with her plastic smile and dead eyes. In a way I felt sorry for her. I cried when I got home; I don't know exactly why. I'm crying now.
Especially when I am walking, my mind wanders-on-automatic and I become "lost in thought." On the way home, I thought about cryptocurrencies and imagined how rich I could be if I took the advice of someone at the gym who recommended I invest. I was then confronted with the lie I had told someone at work today about my plans for New Year's Eve... "my neighbor is having a house party, so I'm keeping it low key this year." It probably sounded like I was bragging. He said, "sounds good." In reality, there is no house party... at least none that I have been invited to. It's just that... it seemed easier to say that then explain I was going to be all alone...
"Hey you... I remember you... how are you?"
"Um... I... I um..."
"Remember... we talked the other day. You seemed lost."
"Oh... right... yeah... the hot chocolate..."
She laughed... "That's right. This has to be a sign... that we run into each other again. A good sign, I should add. It's a bonus."
"Well, this is the same route I walk home to work, so..."
"Well, I'm glad we can catch up. So, how have you been?"
"Um... okay... I guess..."
"Oh, you don't have to be shy with me. We're friends, remember, sunshine?"
"Um..."
She laughed (but not with her eyes). "So, have you thought about what we talked about the last time?" At this point we were both walking in my direction home.
"Well, a little, I guess. But, honestly... it's not for me..."
"Oh... I think you will find that we're all very friendly and caring and you will feel like you instantly belong. I still remember the first time I went..."
"No... I don't think so... it's just that..."
"Don't you want to know truth, beauty, and goodness? That's what this is really all about. It's really a movement, you know."
"Yeah, but... I mean... it's not something I am ready to do, or anything..."
"Silly... it's not about being ready, it's about taking the time to learn how to bring joy into your life so you can return that joy to God. That sounds like something you want to do, right?"
"Well, yeah I guess... I mean, no..."
"No...?"
"Well, it's just... the thing is... I'm not really into cults."
"Oh...?"
"Come on.. let's be serious. I know what the Unification Church really is. And, it's not what I am looking for."
"We're not a cult..."
She talked and talked as we continued walking. I thought about making a turn down the wrong block because I didn't want her to know where I lived. I suddenly felt like a little kid who needed protection and I hated myself for that feeling. She eventually stopped trying to keep up with my pace. She waved to me with her plastic smile and dead eyes. In a way I felt sorry for her. I cried when I got home; I don't know exactly why. I'm crying now.
