My ex violated a protective order.

He contacted me a few months ago despite a restraining order that was placed on him after he was arrested for choking me. He begged for me back and I reluctantly gave in. I now know that he was just trying to manipulate me into believing that this was somehow my fault. He came back and added to the trauma that he already caused me right when I was healing from it. What should I do?

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LadyGrace

Totally ignore him, I'm serious. He's looking for that desperate reaction. Disconnect from him in EVERY WAY.

NO! You must get it through your head that he will never change. He only wanted you back for one reason only! Not because he loves and misses you. But because he wants control over you. I went through all that.

NEVER ANSWER HIS CALLS. IF HE BEATS ON YOUR DOOR, DO NOT RESPOND AND CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY!! Never respond to flowers at your door or letters!!! Narcissists never change, don't forget that. They don't and they don't want to. They do not have a concept of love. Love to them, means one thing.... Control.

Do not panic. Believe it or not, you are in control. You say what goes. Be strong!!! You CAN do this. You're calling the shots. Just make up your mind to never give in. Next time he bothers you, don't hesitate. Call the police and report the violation. But no matter what.... NO COMMUNICATION OF ANY TYPE!!! Now that you know he can never be trusted, just stand your ground and never give in our you'll end up in worse shape, I guarantee. NUMBER ONE RULE.... NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER!!!! Next time he could kill you, so be smart and never give in. Never!!! For your own sake!! Are kids involved? Then you must protect them, so you must never give in. Make a vow to yourself and your children if you have any, to never give in.

LadyGrace

curiosi · 61-69, F

The road to healing is going to be a rough one. Be kind to yourself and be strong. Go no contact and endure the pain reminding yourself you deserve better.

StarletPea · 22-25, F

@curiosi should I report him?

curiosi · 61-69, F

@StarletPea I wouldn't, much better to just ignore. It will hurt him more if you don't seem interested. Reporting him may be viewed by him as getting to you and that is the attention he seeks.

ScarletWitch · 26-30, F

It may only get worse. You already left. He hasn't yet become a long connected bond where u need his face, touch and love. I say let him go. But not even I can do that.

NoGamesTolerated · F

No contact! Don’t even listen to him. Hang up on him if he calls and block texts. Ignore, ignore ignore! Abuse is no small matter imo!!

Earthwrap · 41-45, M

Eliminate him from your life in any and every way possible as soon as possible. If you don't, you will need psychological help, if you don't already.

carpediem · 61-69, M

Choose better quality men.

ImperialAerosolKidFromEP · 46-50, M

Get outta Dodge!

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