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do you know what you want your life to look like?

I joined a course because well i've been squeezed out of a job.
people keep telling me i have potential to do more as i sound intelligent but academically i am inept. I barely scrapped through school and now trying to get on to courses means I am not being accepted as i don't meet the requirements.
if i do want to do a course i have to pay which i cant afford because they are full time.

so im in between a rock and a hard place meaning that i cannot progress and staying in my job is becoming unbearable, it doesn't matter how many times i say i just want to continue in my job role and would prefer for the staff to just drop it, they continue to go on about moving on.

In my current course i haven't been able to find any connections as im old. the students don't want to talk to me, and the few that have are only interested in whether i have work connections in this field. when they hear i don't they aren't interested in my work.
which has been subject to a lot of ridicule.

On the rare occasions i have to do forced group discussions im baited simply because im too dumb to realise that its a set up to say the wrong or least appealing thing.

I don't come from a background of psychology or environments where people use underhand tactics to succeed so i've just been crumbling under this now new set of rules and games that i just don't get.

So now Im just feeling like I want to retreat simply because i just can't get up to speed with these mind games.

Im not asking for advice pity or any feedback on my attitude because i have for the most part heard suck it up. youll meet better people. But its so bad that my tutor has basically asked for a draft of my work to screen it for censorship and is only iintroducing me to people outside the uk.
I cannot access the jobs portal here for jobs in the Uk and i know this because i received an email a day after signing up with a new account stating that i couldnt work as i hadnt signed a right to work form. when another student who is international signed up she didnt receive the emails and can see the jobs board.

why im being blacklisted i really dont know when i didnt actually do anything. my subject matter started to get darker after facing the current problems at a the starting lower level.
Covid came and has allowed my tutor to isolate me from all the other students, who when i went to campus ignored me despite going in being friendly to them.
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Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Sounds as though you got the wrong course.

Although I’m curious. Those who happily accepted your application and presumably a fee, didn’t question whether you’d have the necessary level entry requirements ??

Chat to your tutor about where you are and if they can suggest where you might get support
Mellowgirl · 26-30, F
[@448576,Picklebobble2] ha final year she's rushing to get me out
lovelywarpedlemon · 26-30, F
all i can say is i felt similarly in college even though i went right after graduating high school, the peers & classroom atmosphere. it felt more like a factory farm degree center where everybody had their shit figured out already & their whole goal was to get through as quickly as possible. there was no collaborative environment really.

also there wasn't any support from professors who were working on a public school salary, many were only part-time teachers. i imagine it's even harder now with lots of things being remote & online. less support. frustrating. have you tried speaking with a school advisor? another joke usually but they do have helpful information for various resources/assistance.
Mellowgirl · 26-30, F
[@417823,lovelywarpedlemon] I have tried to reach out to what they call academic support. But apparently my subject matter is the plague to them.
I've been told I'm in danger of alienating myself and that the topic is boring.
That I should do a PhD. That I'm just not getting the piece to flow well. But there's nothing constructive.

 
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