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I Used to Cut

I've been close to relapsing lately. There's so much stress and so much pain. I've been clean for months. It replays in my mind over and over, how much better I will feel if I cut. I'm scared. I'm scared of myself. My psychiatrist wants to admit me to a hospital, that scares me too. I'm just scared. I don't know what to do. Relapsing seems like such a good idea.
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Firechiic
Please do not..... I know how it feels it is not worth it you will want it even more after you do it once again, the urges never stop but they do get less severe in my experience