I Believe In Forgiveness
I have always been forgiving of others when asked. That, for me, is a no-brainer. I want people to forgive me when I screw up. What is the point in holding a grudge? It's unhealthy and makes everyone worse off.
The two things I have always struggled with are forgiving myself and forgiving people who don't see anything wrong with what they have done and do not want or see any need to be forgiven.
I still beat myself up over stupid stuff I did 30 years ago or more. And so much has accumulated since that time that I have so much fodder I can pick a new thing to beat myself up about every 15 minutes and not have to repeat any material for days. I'm working to forgive myself and have more patience with myself because charity truly does start at home. If I am more compassionate with myself over my own mistakes, I find I am more compassionate with other people who do stupid stuff because they are stressed or just having a bad day. I want to let go of my own guilt and shame so that I don't constantly do little things every day that breed that feeling in others.
The second thing is harder, but I'm kind of finding necessary to the process. It's hard because I have found that if I forgive people who don't feel that they have done anything wrong--even if I don't forgive them, I just act like nothing happened and everything is OK, it just makes them angrier. If you actually say it then they call you holier-than-thou and it makes things impossible to straighten out. The easiest thing to do, quite honestly, is to just stay angry. I don't want to do that anymore. I don';t want to be an angry person. I want peace and harmony in my life. Fortunately none of these people are in my life anymore so I am working at forgiving them, letting go of the anger and moving on to a better place because Oscar Wilde was right, living well is truly the best revenge.
The two things I have always struggled with are forgiving myself and forgiving people who don't see anything wrong with what they have done and do not want or see any need to be forgiven.
I still beat myself up over stupid stuff I did 30 years ago or more. And so much has accumulated since that time that I have so much fodder I can pick a new thing to beat myself up about every 15 minutes and not have to repeat any material for days. I'm working to forgive myself and have more patience with myself because charity truly does start at home. If I am more compassionate with myself over my own mistakes, I find I am more compassionate with other people who do stupid stuff because they are stressed or just having a bad day. I want to let go of my own guilt and shame so that I don't constantly do little things every day that breed that feeling in others.
The second thing is harder, but I'm kind of finding necessary to the process. It's hard because I have found that if I forgive people who don't feel that they have done anything wrong--even if I don't forgive them, I just act like nothing happened and everything is OK, it just makes them angrier. If you actually say it then they call you holier-than-thou and it makes things impossible to straighten out. The easiest thing to do, quite honestly, is to just stay angry. I don't want to do that anymore. I don';t want to be an angry person. I want peace and harmony in my life. Fortunately none of these people are in my life anymore so I am working at forgiving them, letting go of the anger and moving on to a better place because Oscar Wilde was right, living well is truly the best revenge.
56-60, F
