I Have Daddy Issues
I don't mind my dad, but he wasn't really there for me as anything but a buddy to play games with when he wasn't out at a bar or working. His side of the family doesn't understand why I have issues with him. I only have a few memories of him from before I moved in with him that didn't have to do with doctor/hospital visits.
We would playing dice and blackjack with him when he was wasted so we could get $40 or so. I remember when I was really little I was begging him to play just a couple games because I hadn't seen him. He told me no because he'd been up all night and he needed to go get some work done.
I remember him telling me he had to go to jail for 10 days for DUIs (or DWIs? Hard to remember..). And I remember sitting at his favorite bar while he visited with some old guys.. The bartender taught me how to play this computer game and I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Then I remember constantly stuffing towels under my door in his apartment to keep the cigarette smoke out. And when he ashed his cigarette and it fell on my thigh.
I moved in with him when I was 14. He would (and still does) forget that I'm even home. But all of this and no one can figure out why I'm not the biggest fan of this man? The only times he even tried to act like a father figure was when I started failing all of my classes in middle school and when I had my surgery. That was it.
Besides my actual dad, my mom's been with three other guys seriously. My first stepdad was the closest thing to a father I had. They divorced when I was six but I still get to see him every six months or so. My second stepdad was an abusive, narcissistic ass. My mom's boyfriend/ex/boss now is good when he tries to be but he's also a raging alcoholic who can get very scary.
All of these daddy issues led up to me constantly searching for a stable father figure.. Which I guess is expected.
We would playing dice and blackjack with him when he was wasted so we could get $40 or so. I remember when I was really little I was begging him to play just a couple games because I hadn't seen him. He told me no because he'd been up all night and he needed to go get some work done.
I remember him telling me he had to go to jail for 10 days for DUIs (or DWIs? Hard to remember..). And I remember sitting at his favorite bar while he visited with some old guys.. The bartender taught me how to play this computer game and I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Then I remember constantly stuffing towels under my door in his apartment to keep the cigarette smoke out. And when he ashed his cigarette and it fell on my thigh.
I moved in with him when I was 14. He would (and still does) forget that I'm even home. But all of this and no one can figure out why I'm not the biggest fan of this man? The only times he even tried to act like a father figure was when I started failing all of my classes in middle school and when I had my surgery. That was it.
Besides my actual dad, my mom's been with three other guys seriously. My first stepdad was the closest thing to a father I had. They divorced when I was six but I still get to see him every six months or so. My second stepdad was an abusive, narcissistic ass. My mom's boyfriend/ex/boss now is good when he tries to be but he's also a raging alcoholic who can get very scary.
All of these daddy issues led up to me constantly searching for a stable father figure.. Which I guess is expected.
