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I swear the universe just wants to push me to breaking point and get rid of me.

I’m in a very constant battle with lots of situations in my life right now and I am struggling to get my life back before it’s over and I feel like I’m starting to lose the battle and just like nearly 95% of my life I never gave a flying shit wether I live or die and now I’m starting to lose that care completely and I feel the universe feels the same way about me too. Like right now I am riddled with stress and anxiety, fantasising about how nice would it be if I died in such a very brutal way and rid my anger once and for all is the only thing calming me down right now.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Gangstress · 41-45, F

Honestly same bro
I have even got to the point of how i know how I want to go

SW-User

@Gangstress it’s a fucked feeling isn’t it, like it’s a scary feeling but in that frame of mind it feels like the biggest release of endorphins.

I can relate to the latter of your comment, Felt that way two years ago and hope changed it all, and thought that nightmare was over but it’s been postponed, even of late I got in mind of how I want to go, and it’s a messy and fiery way to go too,
Like last time I set a date which has now postponed until most likely same time next year if I really can’t dig my way out.