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I Am An Empath

One of the main reasons I'm a recluse is because I am an empath. I pick up the energy of every place I go to, and every person or animal I'm around. It's a curse and a blessing.

A curse because it physically [i]hurts[/i] me when I am around anyone who has emotional pain or grief. When I have to be around someone who is angry, I become anxious and angry myself. It's like being a prisoner to your environment.

When I went to the Texas Renaissance Festival, I toured the Museum of Cruelty. It is a wax museum that shows every kind of torture method they used in medieval times. I'm a huge fan of horror movies and haunted house attractions, so I happily went in.

When I came out, I was so heavy-hearted and just felt "off" all day afterward. The evil that humans have committed (and still do) is just devastating and sickening.

The blessing is that because of my ability to sense these energies, my sense of compassion and my instincts are both heightened. I can tell almost immediately upon meeting someone whether they are trustworthy or not. And since I can feel the pain of others, I can truly understand their feelings and help them accordingly.
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This post kicked off some intense conversations. It's great to see that even if we all define it slightly differently that there is a common thread. I guess I'm in the middle of the pack on this. I realized that I was different before I was a teen. That I just felt the pains of others so intensely. Of course all that is complicated being a male who, back then, wasn't supposed to show empathy. So I just channeled it into being a geeky introvert.
Like others, crowds exhaust me. The pain of others exhausts me. I attract people who are trying to get their lives together, or I'm attracted to them. But some people are so damaged that I literally can not be in their presence. That often gets interpreted by others as being aloof or hating on someone. But it's really self-preservation. It just pains me too much to see what they go through and know how lost they are.
I guess I've just adapted to the condition.