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I Crack Myself Up

My husband and I got prepared for a HUGE government inspection of the apartment complex we manage. In cleaning the kitchen the night before I seen the toaster and I said to my hubby, ''I'm thinking of putting the toaster on the rim of the bathtub.... that way if the inspector goes through our apartment, I'll just tell him I was getting things prepared in case we get a low score.'' My husband told me that I couldn't do it. He said not everyone would get my kind of humor... but it IS funny, no??? 🤣😂

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EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

I think it's hilarious! I also think it's scary that we think alike.

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SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek I get into a LOT of trouble for inappropriate thoughts. I swear I only say about 40% of them out loud! lol

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

LMAO! I tend to say every inappropriate thought I have which many other people also have, but keep to themselves.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek lol That's great! Some don't have my thoughts... my husband is thankful when I tell him what other things I was gonna say. lol

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User I bet you could put all the things you think but don't say into an interesting book. If you ever decide to, and need a publisher--I'd be interested.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek :) ([b]whispers [/b]: [i]we're not supposed to encourage me, it could cause situations to occur.[/i])

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User True--that's why I suggested the book--which would typically only be read by people who have read the back cover first, and have some idea of what to expect.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek Ah, so very true. ;) Yer the brains in this comradery.

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User Well, I try. LOL However--I'm impressed already with your writing skills.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek Stop stroking my ego, I like that and I don't want to get my panties wet. I'm wearing my favorite black ones. :)

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User Well, that figures. It's always the ones who are married who get wet when I'm not even trying to get them wet. The others stay as dry as California's drought.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek I'm an enigma.... I never do what's rightfully planned for. I'm always going around half-cocked. Oh, dear.... I don't have a cock. You can ask MasterLee, he seen my good. He can vouch for my vagina. It's there. Oh, but it is married. Happily. To my hubby of 25 years. 😂

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User Wow, we're both enigmas. No wonder we "get" each other better than most folks "get" us.

I believe you re. your vagina. I'm happy for you that marriage has worked out so well for you. So far, I have only a collection of 3 ex-wives for my trouble.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek Oh, 3 ex-wives, are ya trying to be a late night tv host? ;) lol

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User I wish! Actually, I don't think enough people would "get" my humor for me to succeed at that. I expect I'd be constantly apologizing for crossing everyone's lines until I get canceled.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek I don't know, we got a pretty cool President now so maybe he can break the wall of Politically Correctness.... then we'd all be FREEEEEEE!!!!! 😂

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User I think he's smashed the PC wall into millions of bricks to use for his border wall. Still, it seems like a lot of 1st amendment rights are disappearing, lately in more and more places.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek The media really is screwing with peoples minds. Lets hope that stops. :)

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User So true--you can't believe anything on MSM these days. Nothing is as it seems. 🙄

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek Actually it's been bad for a LONG time... it's just now come out more publicly. I hope real change comes and we get some real reporters and now mini-celebrities wanting to control the narrative.

Anyways, my main point was YAY for Political Correctness crashing and burning!!!!! 🤣

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User I'll sniff your wet panties for that! PC is now out the window.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek Don't be such a retarded hornball. lol snort!

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User That was just some of me typing what I was thinking, instead of self censoring like a normal person.

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek oh... i'm gonna masturbate tonight to some new porn I found. ;) lol snort.

EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M

@SW-User Wow! You sound like the perfect woman. Do you happen to have a single sister?

*imagines the intoxicating scent of your wet panties*

SW-User

@EnigmaticGeek HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 😂🤣😂🤣

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