I Need Someone to Talk to Right Now

I have belittled my fiance, completely out of the blue I don't know where it came from. It was late at night, and she took it badly. Badly like, she now thinks I'm pushing her away so that she will break up with me. I want to talk to someone, tell them whatever they need to know/I want to tell, and find out their view.

Details of the final break point:

Just the other night. She was rolling on about emails from her boss that I didn't see were bad in any way. I told her my thinking, and she sort of saw where I was coming from but was still upset saying she was going to ask for a written apology from her boss. He's the guy who can decide whether the trial she's working on continues or not (it's on shaky ground). I thought that deserved a little more consideration. Then I lost it. I just said she spun me all this irrelevant information like this thing happened and I wrote that on the form and ... He questioned this and then that and... It was 11pm here (very late for us), and I was tired. I just laid it on real thick. Your boss asked you some questions, big deal. Just answer the questions. And so on.

I belittled her. I did everything my principles say don't do. Everyone has different thresholds for everything. Everyone has different levels of tolerance for different things. Respect those levels. Help them to get to a better place when they are sad. It's simple.

But I failed. That night I failed. 19th August 2014. And that may have been the last straw (of breaking and fixing and breaking and fixing) for a relationship of 4.5 years. Actually come to think of it, neither of us remembered our engagement date this year. Perhaps we really are done. :*(