Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I've Come To Realize That Blood Doesn't Make A Family

A letter to my father.

My dear father,
You have been gone a long time now,but I know that you will read that letter,you are reading as I am writing.I wish that I had had the knowledge and confidence to write that letter when you were still alive,but knowledge,confidence and wisdom often appear late in life,but sadly,even if I sound judgemental,you and wisdom followed different paths.You only saw your immediate needs and never pondered where those needs if indulged would take you,years down the track.This is where your lack of wisdom came in.You made choices that were self indulgent and cowardly,although I am sure your awareness was not asleep at all times,but like all cowards and bullies you took the easy way out,enjoying the gratifications you could get,even as you knew you were being taken for a monumental ride by your son and daughter in law.All those birthdays and Christmases I went without so you could save mere pennies,all the cheap meals that you never let me forget you had to provide, the economies of which,years down the track ended up giving comfort and ease to those who cared nothing for you and never had.You died alone in hospital,no one to hold your hand, although those you favoured had never given you any indication that they ever would.But they were adults and I a mere child.And then wisdom caught up with you before the end of your life, I received a letter from you,where you finally did tell me how you regretted your lack of insight and to have listened to the others so much when you should have been a more caring and protective father to me and how lonely you now were and I so far away.You made your choices and those choices affected us all for better and for worse, better for those who despised and used you but not so great for me who by then found myself at the other end of the world and just as lonely.
Your daughter.
CrystalRainsPearls
My wonderful friend, and I pray for healing and peace wash over you. You are talking to him and he does hear you always and in this letter. My Mother is gone she was not so kind to me, But when I see a rose it's her beauty blessing me. And i've had dreams (beyond dream, so real) where I was walking she was sitting down, I went to her bent down she was beautiful young still 39 and we hugged she was saying sorry, it gave me peace. I forgave her and was healed. Whenever I see a rose, It is her, her spirit and I am loved.The beauty, scent of the rose, and she was named after a rose :)
My Father he is still living we have time to repair I have faith. Hugs Thank you for being so kind to me.
CrystalRainsPearls
I agree on this, my father and I never had a bridge. All these years blood does not make a family. Just to know I opened that gate, doesn't mean he'll walk through it. Thank you! I have my own family not of blood, but of love :) mostly of animals,few true friends .. that give unconditional love. Purest of love!
berangere · 80-89, F
May be choosing a blood family that could not really express love,made us realise that love is not limited to a designated few,love is greater than this and universal.May be we chose those families to grow into that profound truth.
CrystalRainsPearls
Indeed there is love all around us always, we just need to tap into it.And Beyond This universe :) we are connected to a pulsating universe, and beyond to eternity. Universe that sings with life, that pulses with intensity of spirit.That everyone and everything has living energy.All life is energy. We are immersed in an ocean of energy. The energy that is around us flows and moves, in constant, ever changing currents through time and space.We are an eternal, infinite, harmony inherent in all life as waves of energy. Every part of the great universe is a part of you, The wind is our breath, the rivers our blood, the sun rises in our heart and the mountains rise in our soul.I still hold few true friends :) we are all one in spirit.
WindSylph
Dear berangere, thank you for this. What I say next can't help you and your father, but I say it because I'm grateful to you. Reading this post and the related comments has helped me find a little more patience for my dad. He is a handful and always has been. I'll leave it at that because this is your story--your post. By sharing yourself the way you have in this post, you've reminded me (again) to dig deep and find the patience I need to deal with him in this lifetime. And I believe in the bridge you and Crystal talk about (although I believe it is never too late--that it can be built even after one passes). So thank you, my friend. I am so sorry for your ache... yet I thank you for making mine a little better. Soft breezes to you.
berangere · 80-89, F
https://scontent-a-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/551436_10152584285354576_591096031349476882_n.jpg?oh=27c61fb2f3ce297ef403bd95a139fa04&oe=55116E3E
nelladell
wow. really.
WindSylph
Profound.
nelladell
Dear Berangere, I was where you are when I was your age, and I wish I could tell you that the way I got away from it was by waving a magic wand, but I can't. I can report, though, that when it's done, there's Joy. Once the inner turn has been made, there is joy right exactly where the pain used to be. Every time one thinks of the parent. Joy every time. It's true. I wish you this joy.
nelladell
Yes!!!! Gratitude is part and parcel of the joy, isn't it????
berangere · 80-89, F
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/disturbed/201208/why-you-dont-always-have-forgive?fb_action_ids=10203248584600909&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=feed_opengraph&action_object_map=%7B%2210203248584600909%22%3A10151165918706075%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210203248584600909%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D
Aryg
I hope you make peace with yourself and forgive your dad. Forgive him and you will find the peace within, so that you can also move on with your life. Amen!
Aryg
He tried to reach out to you in his final days, when he wrote that letter to you...so the ball is in your court. He is not there in person but in spirit now. So you can still talk to him and forgive him, dear. For your own sake....
berangere · 80-89, F
I cannot but agree with you.Thank you for your support.
Aryg
Awww....glad to know!!! :") God bless you sweety!!
whitesunshine87
I am sad that you went through this.Hugs.

 
Post Comment