I Am Sometimes Antisocial

I think I have made all the mistakes it gets too hard to face people sometimes. For whatever reason people find me really easy to dislike until they know me well. Sometimes they don't like me later either!. I try to be a good person. I try to be attentive and caring for others but I don't know how to be liked more than I am. It makes being around people especially in groups fraught with anxiety and tension for me. I spend a lot of time alone, even away from my family. The more time I am alone the more challenging it is to be around people. I wasn't always like this. My father passed away 9 years ago, the trauma broke something in my head and I never recovered. Before his death I was outgoing and personable, I was even a public speaker for my company. I never recovered from his death and I am trying to muddle by with what I have for a personality now.