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Is it okay to stop talking to your father if he always releases his anger on you?

I love my father but I am tired of him releasing his anger on me all the time. He has anger issues and it has become endless struggle for me. I was born sick but I could handle him better in the past but now my illness has become worse but he keeps on releasing his anger on me. If i have to sleep in hospital then he comes to visit me like an angel and become super caring. Then I get better, then we go through all of it again and again. I swear if my health is better I will just handle him like before and let him feel good after he releases his anger towards the world on me. But now i can hardly stand on my feet. I am young but very very sick.


My problem is that I always feel guilty when I stop talking to him. and he is good at making me feel this way. I didn't talk to him for awhile now and my sister text me saying that he says he wish that I just write him "Hi". The problem is what comes after "Hi" for me is like living hell.

Sorry for my bad english, I hope it is clear enough.
It is quite OK. You can even talk to him until he starts and then walk off. Maybe he'll get the point. Nobody deserves to be some else's toxic waste dump. If you have to cut him off excitedly let someone close to you both know why. Someone who can be objective and won't make excuses for him "He's so stressed at work" "You know he's worried about money and how he's gonna pay the bills" a lot of people are and don't take it out on their kids. That way they can explain to him what's going on and maybe he'll him realise he's got a problem.
SW-User
Yes, it is. I haven't spoken to my father in 18 years. It saved my sanity as he was emotionally abusive and would not acknowledge it. All the best to you. I hope you feel better soon.
@SW-User Similar to me, He seems not aware about my suffer. and always shocked when I get upset. then blame me saying this is life. people fight then talk again and I shouldn't be over sensitive. Maybe people fight and talk again but not when he fights all the day and the next day. once I passes in front of him in the house he looks at me so angry and say I want to smash that face, If I reply in anger he runs after me and insult me and spit in air and give me his middle finger. it goes like this week after week after week then I end up in hospital due to my illness. But he says I get sick because I am depressed and I believe he thinks that he has nothing to do with my depression. even once he brought me books about how to get rid of your depression. I was shocked when he did that. I thought stopping fight with me was the solution.
SW-User
@CastAway My father said the same things. The bottom line is, it is NOT OK for him to treat you that way. It is abusive and you it isn't excusable simply because he is your father.
SW-User
Yes its okay and more than okay. Don’t let him make you feel guilty for abusing you.
It’s your right to protect yourself.
MikeSp · 56-60, M
No adult (you) is required to put up with toxic people. You can stop talking to him or even disown if it means saving your health.
Salix75 · 46-50, F
Yes, it's totally ok. Cut toxic people out of your life
Yes. You do not need to feel guilty for doing what’s best for you.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
It's ok to beat the shit out of him too
Sounds like it’s best for your own well-being to keep your distance. But when your sister or other family members bring messages from him, [b]tell them what you’ve just told us[/b].
@bijouxbroussard I did, They say after all he is your father and you know him he has been always this way but he loves you so much. That is why I am in a big dilemma. 😢
@CastAway Knowing he’s like that doesn’t mean you have to accept that kind of treatment.
InvaderNice · 26-30, M
Yes it’s okay. Message me if you want to talk. ❤️
morrgin · F
Does he drink?
@morrgin no, just smoke a lot and good thing he doesn't get physical but his mean tongue is a big problem. Many family members avoid talking to him. he used to release his anger on them but now they are older and always fight back so he started to avoid angering them. If I do similar to him and fight back it become endless and he is very stubborn and due to me being sick so fighting all the time like that really make me tired. I live on meds. The more my body get sick the more I get weaker to handle his anger.
morrgin · F
@CastAway You have to get away if you want to get better or at least get stable with your health. Stress releases chemicals that damage you body. You should never have to sacrifice your health for anyone. By keeping your distance you would actually be helping him and yourself. If he has no one to take his anger out on he will eventually have to look at himself. It's not your responsibility or duty to be his doormat and receiver of all his discontent. He is responsible for his own behavior regardless of how he feels or what is going on in his life. It doesn't matter if he's tired, job sucks, mom was mean to him, he feels unappreciated, his car broke down. He is responsible for his own feelings. Once you leave you can't go back. It will just go back to the cycle of abuse. You leave, he begs and says he will change, you go back and he is great, it starts to build again, he gets mean, you leave...The trick is to not listen to them. If you stop and listen to what they have to say it gives them that foothold they were wanting to manipulate you so you go against your better judgement. You have to be deaf to it. Ignore the guilt trips even if they go as far as attempting suicide. It's still a manipulation. Your life actually depends on getting away and staying away from him.
MethDozer · M
No, no it is not okay. Though it may be the right thing to do. Just because it is what you need to do doesn't make it right, it not being right doesn't make you wrong for doing so either.

 
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