Is it okay to stop talking to your father if he always releases his anger on you?

I love my father but I am tired of him releasing his anger on me all the time. He has anger issues and it has become endless struggle for me. I was born sick but I could handle him better in the past but now my illness has become worse but he keeps on releasing his anger on me. If i have to sleep in hospital then he comes to visit me like an angel and become super caring. Then I get better, then we go through all of it again and again. I swear if my health is better I will just handle him like before and let him feel good after he releases his anger towards the world on me. But now i can hardly stand on my feet. I am young but very very sick.

My problem is that I always feel guilty when I stop talking to him. and he is good at making me feel this way. I didn't talk to him for awhile now and my sister text me saying that he says he wish that I just write him "Hi". The problem is what comes after "Hi" for me is like living hell.

Sorry for my bad english, I hope it is clear enough.

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morrgin · F

Does he drink?

CastAway

@morrgin no, just smoke a lot and good thing he doesn't get physical but his mean tongue is a big problem. Many family members avoid talking to him. he used to release his anger on them but now they are older and always fight back so he started to avoid angering them. If I do similar to him and fight back it become endless and he is very stubborn and due to me being sick so fighting all the time like that really make me tired. I live on meds. The more my body get sick the more I get weaker to handle his anger.

morrgin · F

@CastAway You have to get away if you want to get better or at least get stable with your health. Stress releases chemicals that damage you body. You should never have to sacrifice your health for anyone. By keeping your distance you would actually be helping him and yourself. If he has no one to take his anger out on he will eventually have to look at himself. It's not your responsibility or duty to be his doormat and receiver of all his discontent. He is responsible for his own behavior regardless of how he feels or what is going on in his life. It doesn't matter if he's tired, job sucks, mom was mean to him, he feels unappreciated, his car broke down. He is responsible for his own feelings. Once you leave you can't go back. It will just go back to the cycle of abuse. You leave, he begs and says he will change, you go back and he is great, it starts to build again, he gets mean, you leave...The trick is to not listen to them. If you stop and listen to what they have to say it gives them that foothold they were wanting to manipulate you so you go against your better judgement. You have to be deaf to it. Ignore the guilt trips even if they go as far as attempting suicide. It's still a manipulation. Your life actually depends on getting away and staying away from him.