I Need to Vent

I don’t think weed is the problem with Zach. I think my only problem is that I feel like I’m under the weed if that makes sense. Like the weed is his ultimate happiness. When he has weed I have no purpose. I want to feel loved and wanted and I know that I can’t get attention all the time. I understand love takes time. It’s just I want to feel wanted. When he has weed I don’t feel needed at all. I rather not even talk to him while he does it because I just feel more alone. Idk it’s dumb but that’s how I feel. Writing how I feel helps me a lot because there’s no one I can actually tell.