I Hate Domestic Violence

So today I decided to sign up for one of those dating sites. The man that I decided to let go won't leave. He says, he will never let go of the relationship, no matter what. That I am stuck to him. FYI, I haven't slept for over 3 days thinking. I wait until he leaves for work to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. I finally decided I needed professional mental health help. I called the VA, but apparently there is nothing they can do without an appointment 2 months out. Luckily, I have an outside VA provider! She took the time to call me on her day off and talk to me for half an hour. Calming me down enough to relax and continue my day. She made me realize that no one can take care of me better than me. I thought a lot about what she said, and decided to take the next step in proving it to myself that I can do this. I took the kids to the beach and while they enjoyed the sand, I enjoyed my thoughts. Even though I am not ready to be with anyone right now, I know I needed to do this as an encourager. I looked up in the clouds afterwards and saw this amazing rainbow, that confirmed I was doing the right thing. A scary thing, but a step in the right direction. God is the only one that can see my heart and the tears that I hide. Willie might never understand why or even believe reason, but at the end of the day, my therapist is right. I am the only one who can take care of myself. I needed to do what needs to be done in order to stay sane and not suffer. I need to do me and no one else. Just me and the kids. She said to tell myself "I can do this!" Stop suffering for others that can't be helped. God loves me, and need to love myself just as much.