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I Think More Parents Need to Tell Their Kids No

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I Think More Parents Need to Tell Their Kids No

So my 14 year old daughter is shopping around for her first high school dance in a few weeks and she gives me a list of dresses that she'd like. I have to wonder if she was just hoping I wouldn't notice how inappropriate they were or if she figured if she gave me a lot of bad ones the one that was just barely against the rules would slide.

When I told her no to all of them she got a bit of a pout but went back to her room and did more looking then came out with this one

[image]
She actually told me when I told her that was unacceptable that I was a mean mom and totally unfair because girls wear dresses like that every day around town. I told her she's not every girl and no 14 year old daughter of mine would dare wear something so reveling and short!

She did not like that and got an attitude and slammed her door. So rather than having an nice afternoon of mother/daughter shopping time looking for dresses she got her bottom spanked. Hopefully next time she'll pick out a more reasonable dress to wear.

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TheotherAndy · 41-45, M

That’s a pretty tiny dress

ArtieKat · M

@TheotherAndy is that "pretty, tiny..." or "pretty-tiny....."? 🤣

TheotherAndy · 41-45, M

@ArtieKat yes and yes

marciamom · F

Message me sometime!

stick57 · 70-79, M

@marciamom hi there

Justsimple

Its not that bad

SW-User

Tell her to wear whatever she wants when she's an adult, 14 yo's should wear something more funky and age appropriate

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Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@imLobo The kind of signals that say I'm trying to be grown up when I'm still a kid and I want boys to paw me.

NortiusMaximus · M

@katielass Just about all the girls I knew at school, including both my sisters, rolled their skirts up to make them shorter. They were all frequently slippered for it but it never stopped them, if anything it had the opposite effect.

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SarahMom · 41-45, F

I've been there. My oldest daughter is 13 yrs old and she picked out something similar for her formal dance. We stood in the dressing room and argued for half an hour.

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stick57 · 70-79, M

Great

Phoebe1990 · 31-35, F

I always found it ironic that the punishment for clothes too revealing often results in EVERYTHING being revealed for a period of time.

BeckyStone

@Phoebe1990 Exactly what happened to me.

emilydruzen14 · F

Not trying to make any kind of joke, just being honest but if I tried wearing that dress, my butt would match the color of it Ma'am!

lofc25 · 31-35, M

@emilydruzen14 speaking from experience?

Peggy · 31-35, F

Your dealing with your daughter sounds like my mom when I start pouting and becoming uncontrollable. It always ended with me having a very sore rear end.

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Peggy · 31-35, F

@Kathryn05 My sister and I were reminded many, many times growing up.

1olderguy20 · 61-69, M

@Peggy how often did you get Spanked?

Peggy · 31-35, F

a lot

Phoebe1990 · 31-35, F

I am guessing how short a skirt she was wearing was not a factor at spanking time?

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beckychandler · F

I wore short skirts in high school and it was just not an issue with Mom. But most of the time I was in school (Catholic) and had a uniform and that could cause problems....we used to sometimes roll up our uniform skirts when we got out of school. One day I had mine about mid-thigh and someone ratted me out -- I got it for that 💥

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@beckychandler Oh yep mine wear uniforms too. I think it's the fact they are stuck in the uniform all day that makes them want to be daring with what they wear. My oldest has been spanked for rolling her skirt too. I have ways of making sure they don't do that again!

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kiaelizabeth16 · F

I wouldn't be allowed that dress either!

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emilydruzen14 · F

Never Kia!

Jlundberry · 36-40, M

@emilydruzen14 hopefully you would find a bad result if you wore that.

Anna96 · 26-30, F

Tried a similar approach with mom. Didn't work. Got similar results LOL

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SharonP · 41-45, F

sooner the pout in the home than when your shown it in the shop, where everyone is looking

beckychandler · F

That would be unacceptable dress in our home.

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@beckychandler It was in our home as well Becky and my hairbrush let her know that

Anna96 · 26-30, F

@Kathryn05 I too responded well to mom's slipper and or hairbrush, lol.

SW-User

I think it's good that you're drawing a line somewhere. I'd just advise that you make sure that she knows why you don't want her to wear it, so she can have understand it, rather than just doing it because you told her to. I definitely never wore a dress that short at 14. I was much too timid, haha.

Pop0159 · 61-69, M

I had a similar issue with my youngest and low rise jeans .. .. .. it will get better .. ..

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@Pop0159 I'm sure it will. Though I honestly wonder what my parents would do nowadays given the trend of wearing leggings as pants

Pop0159 · 61-69, M

@Kathryn05 some things adapt, give a little, set new guidelines .. .. some don't .. often when they don't a sore bottom or two solves the issue .. ..

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@Pop0159 Yes thankfully my girls respond well to sore bottoms

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stick57 · 70-79, M

@Stephanieuk spanks work

JudyS · 51-55, F

yes...she deserved that spanking

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Annie1899 · 36-40, F

I'm interested in seeing what she comes up with and if she moves closer to acceptability. Can you post a dress that you think would be ok?

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@Annie1899 Here is a dress I'd find acceptable for a casual day out with my oldest.

She hasn't changed her views yet unfortunately

Annie1899 · 36-40, F

@Kathryn05 That's a very pretty dress. Well, you're still in charge.

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@Annie1899 Thank you yes it is very pretty. And I am in charge that's why I approve my girls outfits before they wear them out

Pandabutter · 36-40, M

Way to go on parenting. If she doesn't like the dresses you think are appropriate she doesn't need to go to the dance.

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SW-User

@imLobo Y'all got issues. A kid isn't going to "make up for lost time" just because you don't let them wear a dress. As long as you explain to them why and talk to them and compromise, it'll be fine. It's commonplace and won't hurt anyone.

Badseed · 61-69, M

@Kathryn05 Your comment reminds me of a woman I once corresponded with who went to high school in the early 1960's. Her family was religious and conservative, with strong views on maidenly modesty. But she found ways to sneak around her parents' dress code by changing at school and then changing back again before returning home.

nevergiveup · M

i think most parents have had this. My daughter used to pull her school skirt up and even took pins so she could turn it up then let it down when she got home.

Badseed · 61-69, M

How come your daughter even owned a dress like that? Just wondering. Presumably you wouldn't have bought it for her. Did she buy it with her own money?

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Uncfred · 61-69, M

She is young with an adventurous mind, she just needs direction from you, perhaps a joint shopping trip?

looking4thesun · M

lol a 14 yr old girl knows everything and parents know nothing.. i am surprised she gave in... ;) damn hormones lol

thesilentgirl · 31-35, F

I donno, it her decisions! But yeah a 14 yr should wear lil bit more that the above pic!

BeckyStone

Weren't we the same? I have avdress like that. 😊Lol

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@BeckyStone Haha I'm sure we were similar at that age too. Now I am just glad I still can pull wearing a dress like that off!

Badseed · 61-69, M

I'm not so sure this outfit wouldn't be appropriate to wear to a dance. For everyday school clothes though, I think it's a bit too revealing.

For what it's worth, when I was in high school, that skirt length would have been unremarkably typical. The mostly-bare back would have been more of an eyebrow raiser. But hey, that was a long time ago, when women and girls wore less.

marciamom · F

Message me so we can discuss!

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mathsman · 70-79, M

Perfect dress

MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M

I see how being backless it might be too revealing but the length looks just fine to me

river52 · 70-79, M

those are some of the hardest years to navigate......

mathsman · 70-79, M

Such a pretty dress on a pretty girl

Pdad49 · M

I think it looks nice!

stick57 · 70-79, M

Good

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Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@Aspies19 Slamming doors is just disrespect period. It's not respecting the other people in the house by expressing anger that way.

As for the dress I would agree it's way too much for a younger teen but in the right circumstances and the right age it's an attractive dress. Just not something to be worn all day every day

BeckyStone

@Kathryn05 Slamming the door was a spanking offence when I grew up.
It's a pretty dress and i have one just like the one in the pic.

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@BeckyStone Thanks I find the dress pretty too just not appropriate for her age. Hopefully she'll understand that in a few years. Though my oldest was also in trouble for slamming her door last night and is no doubt sitting gingerly at school

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Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@ThatMusgraveWoman Did she earn her last spanking then at 17?

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