I Loved Being In Love
I can't remember why you took that picture. But I've kept it as my desktop background all these months. Sometimes I sleep at my desk so that when I wake up there's just the briefest moment where it's like I'm waking up next to you. And sometimes I reach out to lay my hand on your face in that way that I could only touch someone who was my entire world.
I know why you thought you had to leave. I know that those years of what he did to you as a child has left a broken shell of an adult. But I never saw that when I looked at you. I saw the amazing, incredible person that was inside. And I would spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I didn't need the nightmares and the screaming to go away. I didn't need you to stop trembling at an unexpected touch. I just needed to wake up next to you when it was over and see the look on your face when you realized I was still there. And that I'd never leave you the way everyone else did.
I've always known that one day there would be someone that would be able to do that for you. And I've always known it wouldn't be me. You were right to leave because you just couldn't believe that it was true. But you were wrong that it wasn't. I made a promise to myself that I would never leave because of what he did to you before I told you how I truly felt about you. I wouldn't have told you that I loved you otherwise. And I would never break that promise.
I'll never tell you any of this because you're still not ready to hear it. You have to realize it on your own. So I'll just tell a bunch of strangers on the internet instead.
But you're still my world and my everything. And I'm keeping that picture.
I know why you thought you had to leave. I know that those years of what he did to you as a child has left a broken shell of an adult. But I never saw that when I looked at you. I saw the amazing, incredible person that was inside. And I would spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I didn't need the nightmares and the screaming to go away. I didn't need you to stop trembling at an unexpected touch. I just needed to wake up next to you when it was over and see the look on your face when you realized I was still there. And that I'd never leave you the way everyone else did.
I've always known that one day there would be someone that would be able to do that for you. And I've always known it wouldn't be me. You were right to leave because you just couldn't believe that it was true. But you were wrong that it wasn't. I made a promise to myself that I would never leave because of what he did to you before I told you how I truly felt about you. I wouldn't have told you that I loved you otherwise. And I would never break that promise.
I'll never tell you any of this because you're still not ready to hear it. You have to realize it on your own. So I'll just tell a bunch of strangers on the internet instead.
But you're still my world and my everything. And I'm keeping that picture.
36-40, T
