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I'd Rather Have the Truth, No Matter How Hard

Most of us tell ourselves that we want the truth, no matter how hard it is to hear. But at the same time, most people push away every truth that isn't in line with how they want things to be. It's an ironically easy bit of hypocrisy, in an ugly sort of way - every time you hear a truth that you don't want to hear, just tell yourself that it's not actually true. That's how we're able to sell ourselves the story that we want the truth, no matter how hard, and at the same time run from every truth that we don't want to hear. I'd be surprised if more than 20% of the people in this group actually fit the criteria, outside of their self-image.

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SW-User

It is often easier, short term, to reject truth and save ourselves the time, work, and pain that comes with having to truly reflect on it. However, I have found that the truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever.

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

Sometimes. Or sometimes living in the midst of a world of lies can bring a contentment that irrevocably dies the second that the truth dispels the facade. Sometimes the truth sets us free. But sometimes ignorance is bliss.

SW-User

@BlueDiver: The problem is, the ignorance only creates a illusion of bliss. In the end, we truly suffer because of it. Many won't realize it until it's too late.

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

Then let me ask you this: if every day, for years and years, you feel a sense of contentment and connection to the people around you - one that's consistent and real in terms of what you feel in your heart - and then one day you find out that it was all built out of a giant set of lies - does that negate any of the happiness or contentment that you felt during those years? Does the ending negate the beginning or the middle?

SW-User

@BlueDiver: For me, it would. Those feelings of contentment were based on lies. It doesn't mean I didn't FEEL content at the time, but it wasn't true contentment. Once I found out it was all a lie, I would be hurt over the actual deceit, as well as the betrayal of trust throughout the years. Therefore, the pain is more intense than if the truth, even a painful one, had been told in the beginning and worked through. I would be stronger for it, and my foundation would be truth.

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

You seem so incredibly naive to me - god, it's so ironic, I remember being like you and believing such similar things, and having a friend tell me how naive I was. I honestly hope that you hold onto that way of seeing things for as long as you can. Believe in something absolutely, and be happy.

SW-User

@BlueDiver: I assure you I am anything but naive. If you knew the things that I have been and am currently going through, you would not think that. It is not naive to believe that the truth is of utmost importance and that we should speak it and live it even if it is painful.

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

Yes, it is naive. It's the pure definition of idealism, which is the opposite of realism - to take something like "the truth is always the best way" and automatically apply it to every situation, without considering the individual situations and really thinking about whether it really applies or not. Why consider each situation, when you "know" that your automatic assumption will always apply.

It's faith - you have absolute faith in the truth, always. But faith is, by definition, taking a pre-made assumption and holding onto it no matter what the evidence or results end up being.

SW-User

@BlueDiver: There are always things to consider in every different situation. Timing is a HUGE factor, among many others. Having the belief that the truth is best does not mean that every situation is handled the same way. However, I'm not sure I understand the meaning of your statement about whether the truth applies or not. When does the truth not apply? I'm ALWAYS looking to learn and grow, so, if I'm wrong, rather than leave me to my delusions, why don't you explain to me how and why I'm wrong?

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

Maybe I misunderstood what you were saying, so let me ask: Do you or don't you believe that seeing things as they actually are is always the better way to do things?

SW-User

@BlueDiver: If what you mean by, "seeing things as they actually are" is that we should be honest about how things actually are, yes, I believe we should. However, there are MANY factors that must be considered within that. For instance: If a child is adopted, I believe they should know the truth, they are adopted. But discretion should be used in telling the child that fact, and any additional possibly painful information about WHY they were placed for adoption, until the child is ready for such information.

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

Then I stand by what I said before - I think that you're naive and idealistic for believing that the truth is always for the best, and for thinking that happiness based on lies and illusions isn't real happiness. Sometimes people lie to themselves and tell themselves that they're happy when they're really not - but if you actually are happy, then you're happy. What happens today doesn't negate anything that happened yesterday. The end doesn't negate the middle.