I'd Rather Have the Truth, No Matter How Hard
This is about something that happened to my cousin whom I'll call Joan. I have heard similar stories from other women.
Joan went on vacation to a foreign country and while there met a man from that country and fell in love with him. It was a whirlwind courtship (something I find automatically suspicious), and they came back to her home in California and got married. Maybe I should mention that Joan worked as a legal secretary and had made some good investments over the years so, in her early 40s, she did not lack funds. He--I'll call him Carl-- was an impoverished street musician, with only his good looks, some musical abilities, and his charm; he was about 10 years younger than she was. Joan had an adult daughter from her first marriage.
Two weeks into the marriage, Joan's new husband told her over the breakfast table, "I have a very special surprise for you today!" He smiled mysteriously and told her he would show her the surprise right after breakfast.
After they finished eating, he told her to get dressed in something nice and he would take her on a ride to see the surprise. When she did, he drove her for about a half an hour, refusing to say where they were going. After a while, she realized he was driving the car into the airport. He gave the car to a parking valet guy, then led her by the hand on a rushed walk into the airport just as a flight was arriving. Still refusing to say a word, they stood before a group of people getting off an incoming flight from his native country.
Suddenly, a little girl about 6 years old ran toward him screaming, "Daddy! Daddy!" It was his daughter. He had never mentioned her to Joan. He had told Joan he had never married. This girl, it turned out, was his child by his lover: he had never told Joan about any of this. The lover now had a new man and did not want the girl anymore so she had sent her to Carl...and Joan.
It took two more weeks to discover something else Carl had never told Joan; the girl was extremely hyperactive, was seriously retarded and mentally ill in several ways. The little girl did things like scream and run in circles for 24 hours at a time. Eventually, after much psychiatric evaluation and treatment, she had to be institutionalized; Joan put a lot of time, money and her own energy into healing her, but there was truly no choice.
If you had been in Joan's position when that child got off the plane, how would you have dealt with the situation? Obviously, you are not going to be unkind to the child, but what would you do?
I guess I should mention that Joan and Carl are now divorced; the marriage lasted not quite 3 years. Joan wound up minus her job (had to quit to be home with the child), minus her savings (had to pay psychiatric bills and then come up with funds for the institution) and minus her sanity, PTSD, from all the stress (she recovered with a year of therapy). Carl eventually got a job, after their divorce, and took over the institutional support for his daughter.
I'm not going to say what I would've done because I know I would just get a lot of hate posts here.
Joan went on vacation to a foreign country and while there met a man from that country and fell in love with him. It was a whirlwind courtship (something I find automatically suspicious), and they came back to her home in California and got married. Maybe I should mention that Joan worked as a legal secretary and had made some good investments over the years so, in her early 40s, she did not lack funds. He--I'll call him Carl-- was an impoverished street musician, with only his good looks, some musical abilities, and his charm; he was about 10 years younger than she was. Joan had an adult daughter from her first marriage.
Two weeks into the marriage, Joan's new husband told her over the breakfast table, "I have a very special surprise for you today!" He smiled mysteriously and told her he would show her the surprise right after breakfast.
After they finished eating, he told her to get dressed in something nice and he would take her on a ride to see the surprise. When she did, he drove her for about a half an hour, refusing to say where they were going. After a while, she realized he was driving the car into the airport. He gave the car to a parking valet guy, then led her by the hand on a rushed walk into the airport just as a flight was arriving. Still refusing to say a word, they stood before a group of people getting off an incoming flight from his native country.
Suddenly, a little girl about 6 years old ran toward him screaming, "Daddy! Daddy!" It was his daughter. He had never mentioned her to Joan. He had told Joan he had never married. This girl, it turned out, was his child by his lover: he had never told Joan about any of this. The lover now had a new man and did not want the girl anymore so she had sent her to Carl...and Joan.
It took two more weeks to discover something else Carl had never told Joan; the girl was extremely hyperactive, was seriously retarded and mentally ill in several ways. The little girl did things like scream and run in circles for 24 hours at a time. Eventually, after much psychiatric evaluation and treatment, she had to be institutionalized; Joan put a lot of time, money and her own energy into healing her, but there was truly no choice.
If you had been in Joan's position when that child got off the plane, how would you have dealt with the situation? Obviously, you are not going to be unkind to the child, but what would you do?
I guess I should mention that Joan and Carl are now divorced; the marriage lasted not quite 3 years. Joan wound up minus her job (had to quit to be home with the child), minus her savings (had to pay psychiatric bills and then come up with funds for the institution) and minus her sanity, PTSD, from all the stress (she recovered with a year of therapy). Carl eventually got a job, after their divorce, and took over the institutional support for his daughter.
I'm not going to say what I would've done because I know I would just get a lot of hate posts here.
70-79, F
