Found out he’s messaging other women

I’ve made a couple of posts about how I’m struggling with my relationship, however it somehow got even worse tonight after I caught him messaging other women and he absolutely flipped out on me and called my disgusting for getting upset and crying over it, he made me feel like dirt for wanting a monogamous relationship with him like he promised me when we first got together.
I’m trapped and have no idea how to get out.
I can’t live like this, he makes me feel so horrible about myself, yet I still love him and want him, it’s tearing me apart.