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It's impossible to love her as a woman. It hurts to love her as a child. I Don't Want To Play This Hand
36-40, M
+ 4 31 replies 100 views Nov 2, 2016 |
SW User
Elaborate?
This message was deleted by its author.
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Thank you, Goodbye. Yes. She's a child in regards to mentality. She's not functioning right now. I'm trying to understand how to live with this, but it's killing me and effecting my children. I may take you up on that offer. I just had something happen and it reminded me of my circumstances.
This message was deleted by its author.
SW User
*hugs are coming your way*
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Thanks dear 🙂
Ynotjenn · F
I'm sorry boo :(
I'm here if ya wanna talk about it.
As always.
❤️
Brooksy · 36-40, M
I know. You're my constant. Just wanted to get it out, without putting it on anyone.
Ynotjenn · F
@Brooksy: I know. Just putting it out there 🤗
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Thanks baby 😘
SW User
sorry man. those things that can not be remedied must be endured. but sometimes you've lost before the game has ever even started.
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Thanks. I'm enduring, just not liking the game so much right now.
SW User
@Brooksy: I can understand that.
HeavenBesideYou · 51-55, F
Mornin Darlin.

One of the most difficult things in life is accepting what is over what we want it to be. We spend so much time and energy trying to change what we cannot change. Wishing, hoping, praying for another way, something else to try, that will make the bad hand we were dealt a good one.

Here if you need to chat. Hugs
HeavenBesideYou · 51-55, F
I know you are Hon.

And you know the only one you have the power to change is you. Everyone else is beyond your control. @Brooksy:
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Yes ma'am. Most days, I'm okay. This morning was rough. My son said something that she told told him and it pissed me off and all I can do is be mad, but not at her....just mad
HeavenBesideYou · 51-55, F
@Brooksy: The worst thing ever is feeling helpless when it comes to your children. Big hugs
Peekatyou · 46-50, F
Im sorry B. Maybe this...?--Love her as a person. Im not saying you SHOULD, but I know you're choosing to stay with her, so Im trying to find something that may help you do that.

I wonder if taking a step back and seeing her for who she is instead of who you wish she might be? Maybe the disorder itself should not be taken personally. I think about someone with Alzheimer's...people try so hard to get them to remember and are hurt when it doesn't happen. The person with Alzheimer's regresses into a child and it's hard for people to watch. But they can't help it and all they need is to be loved for how they are. And we can't take it personally because they can't help it. They just ARE.

I don't know much about borderline. You've told me some things and Ive read your stories. Maybe it's too hard. Please know im not suggesting that you should put up with any form of abuse or that it's acceptable to treat people poorly. You're making a choice to stay, so you have to figure out a way to make it easier.

I wish I could help... 💙
Brooksy · 36-40, M
You do help, just by listening to me mope 😉
I'm trying. I want to love her like my wife, but sometimes she just does things that remind me that woman is gone. That's the part that hurts so much
Peekatyou · 46-50, F
@Brooksy: I understand why that would be so hard. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. You can always mope and cry and whatever to me. I'll be here.
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Ditto, Peek. Truly.
hisgoodgirl · 41-45, C
So sorry you're having to deal with something so heavy.
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Thanks pa... Wait. Just kidding.
I'll get over it. I have "days"
hisgoodgirl · 41-45, C
@Brooksy: we all do. Hugs to you and your family.
SW User
I read a paper once about families dealing with their loved ones dementia. I know it is not the same. But it explored moving away from a deficit model, to a narrative of noticing what parts are still there, and what parts of them make you laugh and smile and remember.

Moving away from loss to now.
Brooksy · 36-40, M
You've explained it to me. I'm really trying. I really really am
SW User
Oh I didn't explain the same thing.

I have this amazing friend with bpd...

She sees it as a gift
Thehippienerd · 41-45, F
Here if you need to talk. *hugs*
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Thank you. ☺️
SW User
🤗
Brooksy · 36-40, M
Thanks Charmed 😊

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I Am Hurting
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