You filled the void
He was my person. In the beginning it was perfect. We went fishing together, out to eat, watched sunsets, went to see the riots in the cities over George Floyd, and I remember I held his hand so tight running from the tear gas. He met my family, and he touched my mind and body in all the right ways. I tried lsd for the first time, and I was shown a glimpse of danger as his face twisted in the shadows. The warning wasn’t enough.
He introduced me to the dope games, and just like that *snaps fingers* a switch flipped. He became a narcissistic sociopath feeding on my beautiful soul. He told me he was going to break me down and build me back up, that he had guns hidden in my house and people were watching me. I tried to separate myself from him again and again, but I had become addicted to him unhealthily. The night before I went to treatment I wanted to see him one last time, and he drove 90mph in my car and threatened to crash it and kill us both. It all happened so fast in a matter of months… I left for Keystone treatment center with no voice from screaming so much since he refused to stop the car. He got arrested, and a Domestic Violence No Contact order was placed by a judge.
The months go by and I know he’s now in recovery because he was court ordered. He told me that person in the car wasn’t him. It was the drugs. I saved his life by calling the cops… I’m too good for him and so beautiful. He has said he doesn’t think I see it. We were able to make amends with each other and go our separate ways, but I still think of him and hate it. I remember last 4th of July walking late at night and just talking with him- so in love. This 4th of July I’m alone as my kids are with their dad this week. The memories come back sometimes as well as the dreams. I know that time, the great healer, will help all this.
He is a chapter in a book that sits in the corner of my life- of adventures. I’ve set fire to the pages I didn’t want to re read. I’m writing a new chapter now, in a different book, and I’ll never go there again with someone like that.
He introduced me to the dope games, and just like that *snaps fingers* a switch flipped. He became a narcissistic sociopath feeding on my beautiful soul. He told me he was going to break me down and build me back up, that he had guns hidden in my house and people were watching me. I tried to separate myself from him again and again, but I had become addicted to him unhealthily. The night before I went to treatment I wanted to see him one last time, and he drove 90mph in my car and threatened to crash it and kill us both. It all happened so fast in a matter of months… I left for Keystone treatment center with no voice from screaming so much since he refused to stop the car. He got arrested, and a Domestic Violence No Contact order was placed by a judge.
The months go by and I know he’s now in recovery because he was court ordered. He told me that person in the car wasn’t him. It was the drugs. I saved his life by calling the cops… I’m too good for him and so beautiful. He has said he doesn’t think I see it. We were able to make amends with each other and go our separate ways, but I still think of him and hate it. I remember last 4th of July walking late at night and just talking with him- so in love. This 4th of July I’m alone as my kids are with their dad this week. The memories come back sometimes as well as the dreams. I know that time, the great healer, will help all this.
He is a chapter in a book that sits in the corner of my life- of adventures. I’ve set fire to the pages I didn’t want to re read. I’m writing a new chapter now, in a different book, and I’ll never go there again with someone like that.
31-35, F
