I Am Frustrated
I want to be in the spotlight so damn bad but I just can't seem to get there. I've tried in the past but was unsuccessful. I'm super frustrated because I want to get there but just can't. I don't know what I'm doing wrong if anything wrong at all. Nobody seems to understand that I don't have anything else. I'm riding on this one thing to get me somewhere but it's not. When this one thing is gone I am gone because I have nothing else to offer or back me up.
I'm going to rot in this small town forever and go nowhere. That is my absolute worst fear and it's coming true. I'm going to be stuck here with nothing,no one and will work this crappy retail job until I drop dead or kill myself, whichever happens first.
Nobody seems to realize that I wasn't blessed with a whole lot. I didn't graduate top of my class ,I was in the high 40s out of over 200. I didn't go to college because I have zero clue what to even study there because nothing really jumps out at me. Nothing even seems remotely interesting or like something I would be any good at. I'm not talented with computers or science stuff. Everything seems centered around that these days and I'm clueless. I can't fix things or build things. IKEA furniture and power tools are hard for me. I don't have anything in this world other than looks that I paid for and I can play guitar. If those fail I have failed. If those are gone then I am gone.
Some people just don't realize how lucky they are to be blessed with talent and abilities. They don't understand that having brains and all these skills are envied by people like me.
I'm going to rot in this small town forever and go nowhere. That is my absolute worst fear and it's coming true. I'm going to be stuck here with nothing,no one and will work this crappy retail job until I drop dead or kill myself, whichever happens first.
Nobody seems to realize that I wasn't blessed with a whole lot. I didn't graduate top of my class ,I was in the high 40s out of over 200. I didn't go to college because I have zero clue what to even study there because nothing really jumps out at me. Nothing even seems remotely interesting or like something I would be any good at. I'm not talented with computers or science stuff. Everything seems centered around that these days and I'm clueless. I can't fix things or build things. IKEA furniture and power tools are hard for me. I don't have anything in this world other than looks that I paid for and I can play guitar. If those fail I have failed. If those are gone then I am gone.
Some people just don't realize how lucky they are to be blessed with talent and abilities. They don't understand that having brains and all these skills are envied by people like me.
31-35, M
