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I Am Frustrated

I can't stand women who feel like they need a man in their life to feel whole. It was my sister's birthday yesterday and for tonight, he's coming to our family dinner for her even though she just had dinner with him yesterday. He's always here. I can never just have alone time with her. And then when I complained to my mom about it, she said that I wouldn't know how it feels because I've never dated anyone. So dating someone means I have to be clingy and never give anyone space?! Maybe that's how she feels with my dad but me not dating is a choice- not a flaw. I just find it pathetic with my sister that enough is never enough with him.

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jessss · 31-35, F

It's not necessarily "being clingy". Sometimes when you find the right person, you WANT to give them your time, and vice versa.

JewStar4Life · 31-35, F

@jessss But you should also give that same time to your family too.

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AnarchoMetalchic · 41-45

I'm not one who HAS to have someone at all times, but after I met my now husband I became that same way. He came to all of our family gatherings since day 1, because he was important to me. We spend every waking moment together after 7 years because we are literally each other's other half. That's just how it works in our relationship and if it upsets anyone, then that sounds like their issue, not mine.

SW-User

Have you spoken to your sister about it? Do they see each other everyday? Some people are happy like that. I think what's important is not asking her to change how she and her boyfriend interact with each other, but to let her know that you want to spend alone time with her once in a while. I've went through something similar recently, and had a talk with my sister and she made sure to make time to hang out now. Sometimes they just get caught up and don't realise what's going on around them.

JewStar4Life · 31-35, F

@SW-User Yeah you're right. It's just hard now because she's visiting for a few days and her roommate is staying with us since she drove. So I already can't be alone with her. Having her boyfriend in the mix doesn't help. It's too much sometimes. It's one thing if I thought he was such a great guy but I think my sister can do better than him.

SW-User

@JewStar4Life well, what's important is your relationship with your sister at the moment. You're only going to alienate her if you make it sound like it's about the boyfriend. It should be about your relationship with her. Strengthen that, and then you'll make it so it's easier to talk about her relationship... she'll confide in you and take your opinion into account.

sogdianrock · 61-69, M

hi JewStar4Life
Good for you! You are a star.
Best wishes
:)

aradia11 · 61-69, F

Younger people in live etc...have a tendency to hang close together...and yes YOU DO NOT need a man to define you...be your own woman first. Honestly I was better off alone..
I'm not saying everyone should be.
Maybe talk to your sister?

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