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I Wonder Why Solitude Is Not Appreciated More

"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person—without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other" ~ Osho
I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it I was like another man without food or water. Each day without solitude weakened me. I took no pride in my solitude, but I was dependent on it. The darkness of the room was like sunlight to me.
Charles Bukowski
MrFinch · 61-69, M
I appreciate those sentiments. I was alone for years and learned to enjoy the freedom of not having to negotiate with or conform to someone else's wishes as you always do when there is a partner to consider. But I wonder if that made me a more selfish person?
Within a relationship it is no bad thing to have "alone" time when you can focus on your own interests, pursue things that only you enjoy and be apart so that coming back together can be all the sweeter.
GypsyMiss · 46-50, F
@MrFinch I don't think it's selfish. My experience has been that I am a much nicer person to be around after having my own downtime and I have more to give. Keep me chained to you with little or no reprieve and I will eventually run out of steam.
Fortunately I learned this at a young age
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
Interesting. I never knew loving another meant not being with them while you hide out alone.
GypsyMiss · 46-50, F
@JaggedLittlePill being able to love someone for who they are, not what they can give you is the height of true love. Another fabulous quote that sums it up by Thomas Merton:
"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them"
MrFinch · 61-69, M
@GypsyMiss Great quote, great advice.
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
@GypsyMiss You can keep offering flowery qutoes..but quotes mean nothing in the face of reality.

Life is about relationships with other people. Isolation is isolation. These quotes are bullshit . Don't live life by quote.

Yes. Loving yourself is important. You need not be alone to love yourself. You can love yourself while loving others. You can love others without loving yourself. It happens all the time. You do not have to have been alone in order to love another.

Letting others be themselves is a given. Lots of people have a problem with this. I don't need a quote to tell me.

@MrFinch did you happen to notice how old this post is and the last time anyome commemted on it? November 2017.
❤️🌸❤️🌺❤️ I never knew this thank you! I love alone time and I love being with people. I'm also quite deep.
@GypsyMiss so true! I love not needing. It means I'm free to make my choices and one of them is Dee with all herself stuff
GypsyMiss · 46-50, F
It sounds as though you have a very healthy relationship 🙂
Like any relationship it has it's ups and downs 🌸 We are older and have experiences and have made choices. Complaints that I don't ____ or you don't ____ only cause more complaints. I think being greatful helps each other see each other and the world in a more peaceful and confident state. @GypsyMiss
ButtercupBabe · 41-45
ButtercupBabe · 41-45
Indeed. We should get naked sometime and drink tea
GypsyMiss · 46-50, F
@ButtercupBabe Anytime! 🙃
ButtercupBabe · 41-45
MMMwwhha
Lochlee · 51-55, F
Beautiful. Thanks
RosaDawn · 46-50, F
Well its true. Nice post!
SW-User
So very true.
Vetrov · 61-69, M
I’m happiest when alone.

Because silence is golden.




























.....told you so.
That's so true - very profound.

 
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