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I Lost My Best Friend My Mother

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This month was her death anniversary, and it has killed me inside.
I've hide it pretty good, because not many care, but I have came to the realization i've lost myself because of it.
I've been drinking so much, and pretty much have been self-medicating.
I don't know who I am anymore, and the depression is kicking my ass. I have had so many thoughts of suicide, that im scared I might go through with it.
I don't have family, or really any friends.
This has been such a huge struggle because my mom was my everything, now I have nothing.
I really scared of myself.
I know people will just tell me to get help, but there's no "help" in this town.
Just doctors mocking​ you, and putting you down.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
26-30, F
8 replies
May 30, 2017
BrutallyHonest13 · 26-30, F
How did your mom pass?
MissScarlett · 26-30, F
@Sunshineh13: Acute bronchopneumonia, hypertensive, atherosclerosis cardiovascular disease, and COPD which is what was the main cause but also the autopsy said there was water in her lungs. We a knew she was sick, but she seemed to be doing alot better, and passed away very suddenly one day.
SW User
I feel for you. You know, I lost my husband at a very young age. I wasn't prepared for it. It took me a long time to grieve. I've lost my friends who didn't know what else to do with me. I lost contact with far away relatives too. But there is hope. Grieve if you must, take all the time to grieve. And then, you will see and know, you are ready to face the world again.

I didn't have the luxury to brood or medicate or drink like you're doing now. But in my solitude, I immersed myself with books, self-help/inspirational books, I began reading the bible, I just kept on praying. You know, in difficult times, unseen forces/hands are there to help us. Never lose hope. Eventually, you will see the beauty of the darkness you are in now.

Peace & Love
MissScarlett · 26-30, F
@missingmoments2: Thank you so much, your words mean alot <3 im sorry to hear about your late husband.
SW User
I'm sorry , I know how special a mother is .
Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F
I lost my mother to a combination of disease and failed surgery. The pain doesn't ever leave but you just make room for it. xoxo
KingGeorge · M
Me too :(
SoFine · 41-45, F
To honour your mum, then be the best you can be for you.
To build up your worth of self.

Alcohol will make your life worse. ..not better.
If you want that drink, then do something physical to distract you. Get up and dance instead.
Do you have an Aunt or other mother figure that you can get advice from.
It sounds that you attract drama in life, then stay clear of toxic people. Recognize that this kind, are not the best to hang out with. I would opt to be alone, than hang around them.

Also, don't get into a long-term relationship, wait.....why....
In long-term relationships, we get old hurts triggered allot. At first it may seem the right move, yet in time, you both will trigger old wounds.

Find health ways to build up your worth of self, then you will make better life choices.

Your love for your mum, will still hold, never lost, still strong.

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2 people say
I Lost My Best Friend My Mother
It Doesnt matter if you lost her to cancer, heart diease or just natural causes talk and we will listen.
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Updated: 2 yrs ago
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