I Love My Brother More Than He'll Ever Know
Since he left it felt like he just abandoned everyone including myself. I know he may not see it that way, maybe I'm just being his selfish older sister who wants to keep my brother safe and sound. As I write this I didn't realize how much I'm actually sad that he's gone. I'm not sure, I was never good with feelings, but I am aware now he does have a place in my heart.
Anyway, I was going through his things to pack it up for him to take and came across his private journal. I know what you're thinking, don't read it! Under normal circumstances I wouldn't because he respected me enough not to read mine. I just had to know.
My "real" brother is a mystery to me. He changed alot from the last time me and him had one on one bonding like when he fell into a suicidal depression three years ago. I was there for him trying to prevent him from committing suicide under the knife. Since then, he kept me in the dark and I got acquainted with his demons instead. I just have to know what happened to the good I saw in my brother before he lost his way.
The first day I read happened in the July of 2016. It opened my eyes to see that he and I are one of the same. We suffer the same but for (hopefully) different reasons. Hell, he even has an inner optimist I've seldom seen in person just like I do. Knowing that he has a more hopeful aspect of himself makes me happy. Maybe, it's not too late that he could turn his life around? I'll just keep on reading but I'm grateful for this moment to rediscover my brother again. 💙
Anyway, I was going through his things to pack it up for him to take and came across his private journal. I know what you're thinking, don't read it! Under normal circumstances I wouldn't because he respected me enough not to read mine. I just had to know.
My "real" brother is a mystery to me. He changed alot from the last time me and him had one on one bonding like when he fell into a suicidal depression three years ago. I was there for him trying to prevent him from committing suicide under the knife. Since then, he kept me in the dark and I got acquainted with his demons instead. I just have to know what happened to the good I saw in my brother before he lost his way.
The first day I read happened in the July of 2016. It opened my eyes to see that he and I are one of the same. We suffer the same but for (hopefully) different reasons. Hell, he even has an inner optimist I've seldom seen in person just like I do. Knowing that he has a more hopeful aspect of himself makes me happy. Maybe, it's not too late that he could turn his life around? I'll just keep on reading but I'm grateful for this moment to rediscover my brother again. 💙
