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Could you really love someone who wasn't themselves?

I always thought that if you loved someone it was for them just as they are. You can't pick and choose parts of a person and say that you truly love them in my opinion. Sure you can disagree with their beliefs or how they do things but unless you can accept them for the good and bad how can you say you love them? Oh and trying to change them....that's not love either 😝

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Viper · M

Well in response to that, I'd argue someone is always themselves and they physical can't not be themselves.

Yes there is a phrase, but if we're getting technical, the phrase is wrong.

You can love someone for who they are, buy you can also love someone for whom they were... but if they're no longer that, you may or may not love them still.

Though most people problems are they're ignoring negative signs and replacing them with false reality that their head fills in the gaps, and what they really love is the gaps filled in their head and the non-negatives of the other person.

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Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@Viper I might not like who they are now but that never changes that I love them and I would still help them if they truly needed it. I can count on my hand those that I love....everyone else I just like lol.

Viper · M

@Silentpleasure Like I said, you are correct about the majority, but yes there are some exceptions to the rule as well.

Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@Viper You have a very good point....back to the drawing board lol

in10RjFox · M

imo .. we can love someone to as much as they allow. And we may even love them for their nonsense or stupidity..

Love is an emanation and expression .. so if we love someone it means that they have allowed us to love them & vice versa. Change is inevitable when one tries to accommodate another. Problem arises when one tries to dominate the other, by expecting qualities beyond one's means.

(still thinking.. and would love to refine)

abooklover · 56-60, F

You're speaking of unconditional love 💘

Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@abooklover Its the only love I know!

abooklover · 56-60, F

@Silentpleasure It's the right kind 😉.

summersong · F

Correct. You don’t have to love every part of someone to love them, but you have to be able to accept them as they are.

Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@summersong Exactly! Very well stated. Thankyou

SW-User

I agree. Although I can love someone and find their behaviours intolerable

Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@SW-User Very good point!

Vivaci

True...love isn't easy to find because you have to honestly think bout their likes n dislikes... compromise should be only upto and until you both can tolerate each other and live under one roof without killing each other. Lol...😉

All the initial infatuation is usually lust...which is why it ends sooner than expected. When you're in love and it's reciprocated, you don't even realize if you've changed or not...it's just a pleasant journey of togetherness.

KaraLuvz · 46-50, T

Well I am hoping I can find that now that I am transitioning

Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@KaraLuvz Never give up hope!

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

........Idk about love, tbh.. After my last relationship I'm sorta going full physical but hey, i'm just here to hear other people comment.. ┴┴┤•ᴥ •ʔ/

Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@bearinthehalfwayhouse Sorry your last relationship ended poorly but thank you reading my silly post and taking time to comment 🤗

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

@Silentpleasure Ey it's cool, pimp.. Dawg's wilding on here yo so a brother gotta do what they can. 'av a drink. ┴┴┤•ᴥ •ʔ/🥃

This message was deleted by its author.

Silentpleasure · 31-35, F

@Raine That is very specific....are you ok?

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