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Why do some people fall in love and marry and some don't?

I used to think if you wanted it bad enough it will happen. All my old friends are married except for one and she has been married once before. I'm not a good conversationalist but I still don't think thats a cause.

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DunningKruger · 61-69, M

Everyone is, by definition, an individual. Everyone's relationship with everyone else with whom they have a relationship is, likewise, individual. Even the time and place people are in their lives have an impact. The contributing factors likely aren't infinite, but there are enough of them as to make no difference.

If you want to get married, then you have to keep in mind three things between you and your potential partners — means, motive and opportunity. Do you and your potential partner(s) have the resources available to make marriage a viable and desirable option (means)? Do both you and your potential partner(s) want the same things out of life and have reason to believe that the other can help provide them (motive)? Do you and your potential partner(s) interact in such a way that you both could consider marriage and neither has any significant impediments (opportunity)?

The falling in love part, though, is a crap shoot. I'm going to speculate that a lot of people never actually fall in love with their future partners before they get married — what they do is find that they're reasonably compatible. "No, I'm not in love with you, but I like you well enough and I think we can have a successful partnership together." Some people fall in love and get married; some people fall in love after they've been married for years. And others can never make it work no matter how much they are in love with each other.

So, crap shoot.