I Wonder If He Misses Me Like I Miss Him

Cliche title but seriously
It's reaching to the point that I don't think he even cares about me anymore. He constantly wants to break up with me now, pointing out things I've done wrong. Not blaming him but it's making me feel like im just worthless and useless. I'm not what he wants and I am not good enough. I want to continue pursuing him but it's making me feel ashamed and embarrassed. What if he finds me laughable and stupid? Begging him would get even worse. I'm so worried. i know I'm overthinking but this time he's completely cut me off.
I actually planned a trip to where he is this summer as we are a long-distance relationship. Looking at my schedule now, I barely want to go anymore, even though I have other commitments. I planned a lot for him, wanted to give him some surprises and some lovely moments. What should I do with that when he doesn't even want me?