I Am Seeking Inner Peace
Brace yourself, It's Venting Time Part. I
Within this week I have gone through more emotions than a Taylor Swift album. It's probably my meds fault. Ah, to start with my beloved ex.
Grief:
How dare you break things off with me without a warning? I convinced myself to believe that you were a great guy despite our little dispute that we both blew out of a proportion to some decent extent. It wasn't until ten minutes ago that my best friend made a revolting remark that was nonetheless true by every aspect. I continue to catechize you as the dashingly great man who became caught up in his feelings towards me; he only wanted the best for our relationship. But how f*cking dare you have the audacity to treat me like an escort. Your behavior that entire night was enticingly abhorrent; enticing because I crave you out of desolation. When we spoke, you responded in circles like an adolescent. In the morning, I seem to collect everything but my feelings towards you. The way you kissed me after adjusting your tie in preparation for your affluent business meeting. Did you not see how you practically dismissed me from your presence? The neglect I felt.. I'm tired of giving you the benefit of the doubt. Why should I? Yes, you were my first older experience but damnit we both know your actions cannot be justified towards me by any means. When will I be at peace with myself over you? I'm mature enough to accept blame as well. The night could've been more advantageous, but we can't change it now. I absorbed your misuse and accounting the bargain pleas to accept to be back with you. I know you're not worth it, but I can't quite assure myself as to why...
Why do we allow ourselves to be promulgated by people unsuitable of second chances? Because of worth? Value? Tolerance? F*ck those concepts for one minute please. It's time to be honest with ourselves. How do we even determine self-worth? Through egos, morals, confidence, happiness, opinions. Seriously...
Within this week I have gone through more emotions than a Taylor Swift album. It's probably my meds fault. Ah, to start with my beloved ex.
Grief:
How dare you break things off with me without a warning? I convinced myself to believe that you were a great guy despite our little dispute that we both blew out of a proportion to some decent extent. It wasn't until ten minutes ago that my best friend made a revolting remark that was nonetheless true by every aspect. I continue to catechize you as the dashingly great man who became caught up in his feelings towards me; he only wanted the best for our relationship. But how f*cking dare you have the audacity to treat me like an escort. Your behavior that entire night was enticingly abhorrent; enticing because I crave you out of desolation. When we spoke, you responded in circles like an adolescent. In the morning, I seem to collect everything but my feelings towards you. The way you kissed me after adjusting your tie in preparation for your affluent business meeting. Did you not see how you practically dismissed me from your presence? The neglect I felt.. I'm tired of giving you the benefit of the doubt. Why should I? Yes, you were my first older experience but damnit we both know your actions cannot be justified towards me by any means. When will I be at peace with myself over you? I'm mature enough to accept blame as well. The night could've been more advantageous, but we can't change it now. I absorbed your misuse and accounting the bargain pleas to accept to be back with you. I know you're not worth it, but I can't quite assure myself as to why...
Why do we allow ourselves to be promulgated by people unsuitable of second chances? Because of worth? Value? Tolerance? F*ck those concepts for one minute please. It's time to be honest with ourselves. How do we even determine self-worth? Through egos, morals, confidence, happiness, opinions. Seriously...
26-30, F