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I Am Seeking Inner Peace

Four Magic Words.... BUT, THAT WAS THEN!
We are all filled with regrets to a certain extent,some of us more than others,I certainly have my fair share and often wish that I had done things differently,so my life would have taken a different direction, been more fulfilling,I would now have the family I always dreamed of, that life did not grant me from the word go . I made some poor choices AT THE TIME,with the knowledge and insight I had THEN.I could not have chosen any differently because it was who I was THEN.Looking back I see the glaring mistakes and what I could have done to prevent myself making them,but I look with the eyes of NOW,with the knowledge and insight I have acquired through the years,so maybe those mistake have taught me something after all and it is not totally a waste.
Yes I have had losses because of bad choices,BUT,THAT WAS THEN,when I could not have known any better or done any differently with the circumstances I found myself under.I am not that person any more,I cannot keep tormenting myself with regrets that basically belong to someone else.I regret, because I now see clearly what I did not and could not see then with my lack of insight and experience.I have control and power over my life now or at least this is what I choose to believe,certain mistakes I WILL NEVER MAKE AGAIN,as I apply the knowledge and insight I have NOW to not make poor decisions.But I was learning THEN and did not even know about it.
Now when I start regretting the past I say the four magic words: BUT,THAT WAS THEN!

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SelangorNight

Come with me, we will take a walk down the Avenue of Veracity
During our journey you will no doubt encounter feelings of guilt upon which you will not wish to dwell. But dwell you must, for it is these things from which the toxins ooze forth and flow through the labyrinth, polluting and destroying the truth.
It is important to remember that guilt cannot be destroyed.
A man is imprisoned for committing an offence of which he was guilty.
When the man walks out of prison, he is still as guilty as the day he walked in.
Any guilt toxins found during the journey must therefore be dealt with not by trying to absolve oneself of guilt, but by mentally re-running the event in full. One must then adopt the psyche:
I was wrong to do what I did.
I am human and therefore imperfect.
I have felt remorse for what I did.
I will not do it again
There is no way to undo what I did.
Therefore the retention of guilt serves no purpose, let it be gone.
It is often easier to pretend to ourselves that such guilt vibrations from our past do not exist. But it is our aim to meet them head-on and subsequently banish them from our lives forever.
An untreated guilt toxin can fester and mutate into a parasitic and malignant growth which will gnaw away at the fabric of the mind’s inner sanctum.

berangere · 80-89, F

Thank you for this insightful and healing answer.